Insomniac

December 9th:

I cannot get the image out of my mind. She is right in front of me. Caressing my arm she slowly draws herself nearer to me. All though she didn’t say a word, we sit there for about 3 minutes in a state of total ecstasy. With each second I begin to fall deeper and deeper into those hypnotizing hazelnut eyes. Her hair parted off center ever-so perfectly, and the dark golden strands of hair perfecting the frame of her young and mesmerizing face. There we sit together suspended in time and space.

No worries, no inner thoughts, no insecurities, we are both present and in a vortex of weariness. Infatuious LOVE. Suddenly we are in an oasis of dreamlike wondering. A sort of resort/amusement water park where Greek gods would transform into swans to subdue the one pure beauties of mortal Earth.

I chase after her, soaring through the air but with each strive she seems to drift further and further away. Finally I stop soaring over the blue pools that are filled with crowds of sirens and bodies engaged in childish splashing and pool romances. I take rest on a mound at the back of a shimmering waterfall. A figure approaches closer and closer towards me, yet I cannot make out what it is since the water flows incessantly against my vision. I walk slowly around the gorge and I see her. Only this time our infatuation seems unexistent. She is aware of my presence and smiles, but doesn’t look my way. I extended my hand as a sense of longing and she takes it with gentle hesitation. Now standing, she leads me to the end of the rocky cliff and we dive deep down into the glittering pools of lust and heaven.

When I resurface I am ecstatic, full of adrenaline and pheromones, and I turn my head aimlessly in all directions hoping to find my lover pop up out of the glistening pool. Yet she never meets me. I look around and while everyone else is engaged with and splashing about blinded with lust, I am left with the spoils of love and an endless longing. For her I wait. Floating in place with the hope that she will some soon be in front of me again but I never see her. With each moment her face slowly fading from memory, I begin to wonder if she ever existed at all.