Fool

I suppose I was a fool for trusting you when we first met.

You were less distant, back then. You always carried that little notebook around. You still do. From the limited peeks I was able to steal at it, it’s full to the brim of constellation charts and stars. You’d always slam it shut with a glare if I ever got caught so much as glancing towards your drawings, and you chewed me out when I asked what was so special about them.

But I stayed anyway.

It seemed to get worse over time. Once, I saw you carving constellations into the handle of a knife. I never brought it up, and thanks to recent events, I think that was a good idea. You came more shut in, and occasionally didn’t show up to class. When Mayotta went missing, while everyone else searched and panicked, you didn’t care. You just wrote and wrote in that notebook you’ve had for years, now. You treated me like shit.

But I stayed anyway.

After our argument on the stone bridge, I didn’t see you for...years. We both changed a lot during that time. I distanced myself from everyone, just like you had. Because of you, in fact. Took up boxing, got accepted into some private school, and blocked everyone else out. I thought I’d never have to look you in the face outside in the courtyard about three weeks in. I didn’t know you were here. I didn’t know.

I thought, ‘maybe he’s changed.’ ‘Maybe he’s better now.’

You weren’t.

You still carry that old notebook. I’ve seen you with that knife. You have dark circles that make you look like a fucking demon. But at least I’d never have to talk to you ever again. At least you never approached me, and I never approached you.

Someone went missing again. A student’s sister, just the night after some family meetup. You had nobody to bring. I just brought my older brother. The whole time, you eyed this specific girl--long green hair, gray skirt, purple top--kinda pale, if I remember, right. Some student’s sister--Warai’s, I think. Her name was Maria. She wasn’t from around here. She’d come to visit from somewhere in the UK. I didn’t worry too much. Of course I felt bad for him, but I didn’t try speaking to him. I’m the last person anyone wants to see. I didn’t mind the disappearance for a while. I already knew it was you.

Maybe this seems off-topic, but bear with me.

I have two brothers. One, my older brother--Aisubeki. About twenty-two, last time I checked. He’s the one who moved us out of our parent’s house after some issues between us. He’s quite the book nerd, and he’s almost always reading one, if he isn’t filling out some paper or working.

My little brother, Chisai, was twelve years old. He was quite the hyper one, always trying to wrestle me or ’Beki, if he was home. I’ll be the first to admit I was a bad influence--taught him words he really shouldn’t be saying at his age, helped him vandalize a couple things, taught him to fight--all of which Aisubeki chewed me out for. ’Beki’s a good person, though. I know he means well.

Last Sunday night, Aisubeki couldn’t find Chisai in the house. I thought, no big deal, right? More likely than not, he’s trying to prank us. We scanned the entire house inside and out for the kid, and found nothing. What I did find, though, made me feel sick to my stomach.

His room window was broken, and a large stone sat below it in his room.

...You.

My body felt like it was made of smoke. I backed out of the room, directly into my older brother. He asked if I was alright.

You.

I charged out of the hallway and through the front door, not feeling the wood touch my skin at all. I flew across the sidewalk towards the park we disconnected from eachother inside.

You.

That stone bridge...

HISERO.

A bitter scent immediately assaulted my senses.

There you were, Hisero. You stood quietly on that bridge with a bloody knife in your hand, head turned towards the sky, mumbling things I couldn’t hear.

In front of you, Chisai was crumpled on the ground, throat slit. I saw fear in his eyes--wide open like a deer’s in headlights. Where there was once life, there was nothing. Cold, unforgiving death.

My legs almost buckled underneath me. I stumbled onto the bridge, and that alerted you.

You stared at me with a look I’ve never seen on your face before.

I saw nothing behind your eyes but stars.