Ever get that feeling that your rabbit is trying to have sex with you?

It all started so inoccently. Holly would cuddle herself right next to me, let me stroke her, let me pick her up. It was strange; she normally bounded away whenever I aimed to lift her. She would burrow in her blanket, trying to make the perfect nest. She would hum and lick and nibble. But then her affections became aggressive. Instead of cuddling me, she was humping me, instead of burrowing in the blanket, she was marking it, instead of nibbling, she would bite. Like an enraged lover, she only ever bit when I was walking away.

Once she began kicking her litter out onto the floor, I knew she was in heat. The final straw being when she loped into my room, hopped onto my bed and promptly pissed all over it. You tell me if that doesn't smell like an aphrodisiac.

Alas, I am taken. I tried to tell her this. She doesn't understand. She feels like we were meant to be together. She pulled out her own fur to make a nest for my babies. She's ready, she keeps telling me as she runs figure eights around my feet. It is not my intention to hurt her feelings. I just feel like this is a spring fling. Bunny love. When winter returns she won't even remember my name.