My first love.

I wish then that I would have realized how important he was to me. The boy that I couldn’t stand but yet could always make me smile. That boy that without my knowledge protected me and I only realized after he was gone. That boy that may have changed schools but his feelings for me were still strong. I remember when he asked me out and I smile thinking back. We were bowling he was with his friends and I was with mine but they didn’t stop us from sneaking peeks at each other and smiling. We were the cliche little fifth graders and couldn’t talk face to face without him making me blush. Our friend ran between us delivering messages.

“I like you.” He said.

“Tell him I like him too but make sure he doesn’t look at me.” I reply but sure enough he does with a wide smile on his face.

“Will you go out with me?” He asks.

“No.” I say. “But I do like you.” I reassure.

I think back now how my life would have been different if he stayed at my school. How things would be different if I had said yes.

Now he’s grown and matured into a handsome young man. The thought of him still makes me smile.

The little connection we still have is simply liking each other’s post on Instagram.

I’d love nothing more than be able to converse with him again so many years later but I never have the nerve.

I hate that I realized he was my first love too many years later.