Wonder
I often wonder what moment
for you was the pistol
and what moment
was the decision to pull
the #trigger.
It’s usually a split
decision that moves like
an indiscernible
brush stroke, uniform -
An obvious beginning
and end but no sign
of the climax.
I often wonder what life
you would have led
if you didn’t stay -
If you didn’t say yes
to a rock that was below
your worth -
If you didn’t measure
your #life in poorly
assembled dominoes -
A uniformity doomed from the moment
you began self-medicating.
You were never meant to fall straight.
Would you have
remained
in the #Native Land
with red clay to call
home and ground yourself
to ancient beings who never fell from the sky?
Who would you have become
if you stopped
holding on so hard?
I may have never been
but I speculate the sacrifice
would have been worth you knowing
old age.