Love and Heartbreak

I met him the summer between my junior and senior year of college. Friends of my parents had offered me a job in their small retail store which I accepted because I was longing for change. Summers before this I worked at a preschool camp, so not much opportunity to meet available members of the opposite sex. I was present for his interview, about a week after I started. We did not speak to each other but we locked eyes, I became breathless, and this may sound cliche but it was as if the atmosphere in the room had changed. My heart skipped a beat when my boss introduced me to my new coworker. The chemistry between us was obvious from the very beginning. He found excuses to talk to me throughout that first day. I found out that he was several years older than me and recently divorced. He asked me out by the end of that first day but although I wanted to accept immediately, his circumstances concerned me. My friends, family, and coworkers thought it was a bad idea. "Don't do it," they advised, "Why would a thirty something man date a woman who is barely in her 20s?" The naysayers told me repeatedly, "He's bad news. He'll only break your heart in the end." I, an avid reader of romance novels, especially ones where the bad boy falls for the young innocent and lives happily ever after, was only more intrigued and tempted. After a summer long flirtatious dance, we finally went out on a real date. The date exceeded my expectations. He presented me with a single red rose, we had a nice dinner, watched a movie at his place, and ended with a chaste kiss, that sent tingles throughout my body. I was falling hard. I went back to school, he took a more permanent job and moved to another state. Our communication was mainly through telephone calls and letters (this was the 1990s, before texting, video chat, and email). We anticipated a winter break reunion where he would come to visit. To me, that time was magical, but others did not see it that way. My mother said, "I think the whole thing stinks. He does not care about you the way you deserve to be." When I went back to school and he went home, things started to fall apart. I thought we were moving closer to love and a real committment and I expressed my feelings in a letter. Upon receiving it, he called me and complained, "You expect too much and assume too many things." We eventually came to a peace and anticipated me visiting him over my spring break. The magic and incredible chemistry continued on the first night of my visit. Then, the next morning, he became inexplicably cold and distant. That night, he asked me to take a walk on the beach. "We need to talk. I met someone else who I think is important to me. While being with you was wonderful, I felt like I was cheating on her. I will always be grateful to you. I was devastated by my divorced and your interest gave me the confidence to explore other possibilies." I put on a brave face, but my heart was breaking inside. He meant everything to me and all I was to him was a gateway to a transition. In the aftermath, I learned to be more careful with whom I gave my heart to. Eventually, I did find true love with a wonderful, loyal man but the experienced changed me for good.