Reverse tunnel vision

I can’t see as far as I used to.

Faces are blurred until I get too close.

Too close is where I’m able to see the real you.

I can see what you are up to.

I can predict what you do next.

But there is a distance between us.

Making it hard to see.

And I cannot focus.

My interest is fading.

I want to be close to you but you keep walking further away.

I cannot chase you.

I cannot hunt you down and drag you back into my safe haven.

Im trailing behind you down a dark tunnel that grows longer with every step.

I can see a silhouette of what I hope is someone else standing far away in that tiny speck of light ahead of me.

Feels like I’m going backwards.

These dark cold abrasive walls tear at my flesh as it narrows and sucks me in.

My knees hurt.

My hands ache.

The floor and ceiling grow closer.

As if I am trapped and being forced into hiding in amongst the memories you long to forget.