This makes no sense

I’ve been sad lately. I can’t explain it. It’s like it’s come back for me. I feel like I want to cry. I want to scream. I’m lonely sometimes too. I’ve been having scary thoughts. Everything should be okay, right? Why isn’t it okay. I should be happy......... what if the only reason I haven’t, is because I’m afraid of the scars. A permanent reminder of what I’ve done. How I’ve felt and no amount of makeup can hide them from me.... always paranoid of someone seeing my scars.... how could I think that. How could I. I couldn’t put my parents through that... they care too much.... I just get angry sometimes. I don’t know what anymore. This thing makes no sense, but I guess I’ll post it. Better than letting me scream it to myself::..