Love? I Don’t Know
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
What does that mean exactly because I don’t know if I believe that right now. Maybe once, but not now.
The ones that ‘love’ you are very self-seeking. They want you to drop everything and be there for them, they want you to give when you yourself are in need, they want you to comfort when you are in pain. They don’t care what type of condition you are in, because its about them.
Love is not patient, it wants and it wants now. It doesn’t care if your sick or depressed, it only cares about itself and what it needs from you.
Love is not kind, it doesn’t take care of you when you are sick, show concern when you are sad or work on making you feel better. That only happens in the movies, it doesn’t happen in real life.
Love is jealous as hell and wants to be your only object of affection. It sure does envy when you spend your time with something or someone else. It feels unimportant when you do, and does not try to make you feel important either.
It is not self-seeking? Really? It doesn’t want you when it wants, how it wants, where it wants? It doesn’t want you to do what it wants regardless of the consequences to yourself? It doesn’t dishonor others when it doesn’t get what it wants? Really?
It is not easily angered and doesn’t hold a grudge? Are you kidding me? Weren’t you the one who remembers shit from years ago and reminds me about them every now and then love? Aren’t you the one who I must walk on egg shells with lest I inadvertently hurt your feelings? Aren’t you the one who would rather me tell a sweet lie than the awful truth?
Do you protect me love or do you hurt me? For sure you don’t trust me, and it seems like you are always on the brink of giving up on me…
I don’t know, I thought you were love. If you’re not love, then…
WHO ARE YOU?