Catalog

I like to tell myself everyone had their list of ways to die

but I believe it was just me

and my own imagination

the catalog was long:

pills and pools

blades and baths

a jump

some rope

if I could find any

but I never killed myself

and I believed I never killed myself

because I didn’t have guts

grit to me was the ability to write one last letter

but what really kept me from the dream

was the mundanity of it all

the everlasting question:

who would drink the milk if I was gone?