The Dream
I am asleep. But I am dreaming. I am dreaming of being chased by something. It resembles the body of a bull, wide and muscular, but instead of it's fur being brown it's color is bright red. It's long neck resembles a giraffe, but it's face looks like a moose with those big antlers sticking out far from it's massive head.
It is coming after me with an intention to hunt me down, and kill me as it's prey. And I am terrified, running wildly towards anything that would give me safety. As it gains on me, I run faster, and faster my lungs about to burst. Ahead of me are some trees, could I climb one in attempt to avoid getting speared with this creature's fierce antlers?
My heart is pounding through my chest now, but before I know what would happen next - I wake up. My pajamas cling to me from all the sweat, my body aches as if I actually had been chased.
The thing is I have been running. Running for quite some time now. And it wasn't until today that I have finally been aware of it.
A few days up leading to this night where I had this vivid dream, I had a heated encounter with my parents. It was the kind of arguement that wasn't a huge deal to them, but meant more to me. The kind that made me re-think them as parents, how they raised me and my siblings, and how they let their pride get in the way of dealing with us as kids - and now adults.
The day before I had the dream of being chased, I struggled really bad with feelings of pain, hurt, resentment and bitterness towards my family. Everything I was raised to believe as a child up into my thirties all of a sudden did not make sense to me anymore. Their Christian upbringing, which I accepted as my own faith, now looked like a big fucking joke. And I was angry.
I screamed at the God that was supposed to love and care about me. Who gave me family that was supposed to love and protect me. And it was in this moment, that I was running. It was the day that I ran away from God, and family, and everything good and true.
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In my dream, I never did find out how it ended.