Did you just purchase a Star Trek Enterprise key chain from a plumbing supply house?

Why didn't anyone ask for reparations during the Obama administration?

If a heart doctor will pronounce you dead when your heart stops, why won't an abortion doctor pronounce you alive when your heart starts?

Q: How many deaths have to occur before you, as a firearms owner give up you guns?

A: How many rapes have to occur before you, as a man, undergo a castration?

Why doesn't a single restaurant have a menu for normally price entrees and entrees you can order at 50% a larger price for when your girlfriend says she is not hungry, but you know she will eat most of the food off of your plate menu?

When you suffer from ED (Excessive Dishonesty), try LIAGRA before testifying about illegal servers, Benghazi, a spouse's infidelity, $100 million dollars of missing Haitian relief money, and 56 closest friends who have died from suicide. Experts agree!

Isn't it funny that when Democrats investigate a Republican for two years, none of the Republican's accusers died of an unexpected suicide tomorrow?

Dear Tlaib and Omar,

Why are the two of you so upset? No one took you seriously. It wasn't a ban. It was somebody in Israel (a country you said did not even exist) suddenly did something.

Sincerely,

Karma

Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work - Thomas Edison

President Trump tweeted, without using names, and four morons rose to complain. This means the shoe does fit.

Q: Why proper English important?

A: If you ask the hotel manager that you want the porn in your room disabled, do not be surprised if he calls you sick because all of the porn in the hotel is regular.

Q: Why proper English is important (Part II)?

Hillary Clinton: Believe me, voting for Donald Trump in 2020 would be a huge mistake!

Me: I don't think I could do that.

Hillary Clinton: Voting for Donald Trump?

Me: No, believing you.

Q: Why is the United States of America the greatest country in the world?

A: Even the people, who hate it, refuse to leave.

Obamacare - It only works if you don't.

Q: What should you do if you cannot afford healthcare?

A: Go to the airport. Homeland Security will give you a free X-ray and breast exam. If they think you are a terrorist, your colonoscopy will also be free.

When you are drunk driving, make sure you listen to Def Leppard. This way you can mimic the drum solos and still keep one hand on the steering wheel.

If Hillary Clinton wants the firearms industry to be held responsible for shooting deaths, should the computer industry be held accountable when someone has an illegal private server with classified documents, hacked by America's enemies, and lies to Congress and the FBI about her involvement?

Isn't it funny that Elizabeth Warren often complains about the cost of attending college, but forgets that she was once paid $400000 for teaching one class?