Tenderness Through Transformation
Small talk is a pet peeve of mine. It’s not meaningful enough. That’s why when I start conversing with someone and we connect on a semi-deep to a deeper level, I know we’ll get along just fine. It’s difficult being closed off but open to new people and experiences, sometimes you have to take a chance to see where that friendship or relationship will go. Vulnerability. That word haunts every millennial like knowing coffee is the only thing that will get them through the day in this high-stressed environment. It’ll bring you to your knees, it will tear you apart. But coming out, you’ll be stronger. You’ll be able to put yourself out there more when our society conglomerate is charged on anxiety and riveted in the past. Don’t celebrate your life to change it for someone else, celebrate your life to change it for you. It’s easier said than done, but that’s in parallel to living your life. Anything in life is easier said than done, but it’s up to you to decide when and how you want to change it. Take small steps (even if they’re the tiniest steps a zoologist has ever seen), you’ll eventually grow bigger feet and will be able to get to your open clearing faster. Within that time of growth, you would see your journey through the forest of unrequited angst, love, and emptiness.
Angst because the crippling fear of the future is just that, crippling. Being confident in who you are, mirrors the future back to you. No matter what happens in life, you’ll know that it’ll only last for some time. So you either have to fix it or make the best of it.
Love because whether it’s self-love or it’s the love you have for another, the one common factor with both is you. Romantic love for another is not as common in today’s society. Why? Because here we are putting ourselves on the line for someone, only for them to not feel as deep as we do because A) they’re either too scared or B) they have someone on the back burner waiting for their go signal. We are punishing ourselves because of the high stress environment we live in, but also because we don’t see the true value of a companionship. Where does this all begin? With you. The person reading this. The person who lost themselves to heartache a while ago. The person who deserves every ounce of happiness and love from themselves. Life can be brutal when playing the game of self-punishment. So put your shield down and let life show you all the ways to happiness, starting from you. Romantic love can happen anywhere, any time, with anyone you have a connection with. Don’t let yourself stop being happy because you don’t think you’re worthy.
Emptiness stems from both angst and love, maybe being by yourself is not enough because you haven’t truly found yourself or your purpose here on earth. You can runaway as far as you want, but they will always follow you. Why? Because it evolves from within. It’s hard to believe that self-responsibility resonates with self-love when it comes to taking accountability for who you are. That my friend, is how you know you’re human.
Emotions are raw. They’re what make us whole, a biased whole, but whole nonetheless. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Love yourself for you through this process, don’t forget who you were. Humbleness comes from knowing how you got there, not where you’re supposed to go.