Popeye

Affectionately, we called him Popeye. A sailor who rocked a corncob pipe, you can’t and obviously aren’t trying to escape that moniker. He didn’t have the laugh, thank goodness. As much as we all drank around him, that still would have gotten annoying.

He made up some crazy drinking games out there on that ship of his, brought them to us landlubbers at The Prosperity. I think he only came here because it could be the name of a ship. He called us regulars his “crew” and I was his first mate. Because I was always the last man standing. Well, besides him. I don’t know what really happened out there on that ship, but the end result was an alcohol tolerance the likes of which I’ve never seen.

Then again, maybe the games were all biased toward him winning. Regardless, two or three games into the night we would need a break and we’d ask for a story. Once he’d had some drinks in him, asking for a story was good for a twenty minute reprieve.

“Hey, Popeye, did you ever see a whale like in Moby Dick?”

“Aye, matey. Ye have no idear what it’s like on the open water. I read that thar tale, Moby Dick. You know a man can lose himself out thar. Ye n’er know if Moby Dick was a whale er a dolphin. It’s just what the man seen. And many a man seen the same thing dif’rnt ways.”

“What did you see, Popeye?”

“I spin ye one yarn, then it’s time fer ’nother game!”

“Aye aye Captain!” We all sniggered because...well...Spongebob. But Popeye never got the joke. Go figure.

“The night were dark and menacin’. The air wrapped around ye in droplets. Ye drive yerself crazy listenin’ for anything, but the air was too thick fer sound to travel. That’s how she got so dern close without a sole noticin’. It had to be a female to cause that level of destruction. Crushed the soul of nigh me entire crew. It were a great white fer sure. Were it Moby Dick? If Moby Dick were female.

Ye question God ye do. In that thar moment when the behemoth bares down upon ye, out of thick air. Crashed down with a vengenance louder than thunder but quicker than lightening. Damn near split me vessel in two. Four of me men immediately lost into the dark ocean. Lookin’ after them I spied the wee one. In the dark and fog we come too near her calf. Mebbe we even nicked it with our bow. Only she knows.

We weren’t a fishing vessel. Just a merchant ship. We had harpoons but not near enough to fight her off and we were down four men from the start. And then a storm bore down somethin’ fierce. We seen plenty ‘a storms out on the ocean, but this’n topped ‘em all. Thunder cracked so loud the whale reared back ‘n retreated into the ocean to protect her calf. Lightenin’ split the sky in bright ’n brighter. Them winds kicked up and took three more ’o me men.

That’s the night we made up this next drinkin’ game, ‘Death Tolls for Thee’.”

Popeye and I passed out at the bar the night. Luckily, it’s my bar.