whispers.
i hear whispers
in every room,
making me go insane
even though i know it's not true.
i see blood
in every hallway,
caked in the walls,
what a mistake.
i wish i could
talk to people
but if i did,
they would vanish soon anyway.
no one cares about
people like me.
my disorder makes
me unorderly.
why does schizophrenia
have to ruin my life?
i'm going crazy
in my mind.
i must stay quiet.
no one would listen if i wasn't.
they'd say i'm
going insane.
what's the point
of being open,
if when i do,
no one would want to stay?
so instead
i fake a smile
and pretend i don't
see these stupid visions everyday.
i know stress
will make it worse
and the stress of losing people
would kill me.
so instead i stay
locked up
in the chains of my brain,
it's better than dying, okay?
so this lie is helping me
to breathe easier
since people are here
to help me for now.
they think i'm just sad
not dillusional,
and i guess that's it's
better that way.