My Beloved Henry

To my beloved, Henry

I write this to you to finally admit my love for you after all these years. Do you remember when we first met? In first period, after that bully, Ben Devers, cut your backpack open? I felt so bad for you, so I helped you collect your books and homework off the ground. Do you remember how our hands touched? You looked up into my eyes, and I felt my cheeks flush.

Your eyes are like honey

collected from the darkest rose.

How I wish to swim in the sweetness

of my dear lover’s gaze.

I love your eyes most of all. You hurried your goodbye, and then you were gone, but in my heart, you will always reside. I was never brave enough to approach you. I felt so shy, and you were so cool with all your friends laughing and the way you read books with your cute button nose only a few inches from the page. How I wish you would study me like your books. Do you remember what happened to Ben? The teachers said he exchanged schools halfway through the year, but I made sure to keep you safe, my beloved Henry. I’ve protected you.

You are so smart! I secretly envied your quickness in class, and I was so proud of you when you achieved the highest grades of our year. Do you remember when you threw away your calculus exam? Please don’t think it weird, but I kept it all these years. It still kind of smells like you. Cedar with just a hint of your sweat from gym class. It makes me swoon with desire.

Do you remember your locker combination? It was your little brother’s birthday. I remember, because I watched you, my beloved Henry, when I would be at my locker just across the hall. Do you remember my little gifts? Please don’t be mad, but I stole an old tshirt. I just wanted to feel

you with me when I slept. Just like our love, we would see each other across the way, but it would still be many years until we would be together.

When we graduated, I couldn’t let you go. I had loved you for so long that I couldn’t bare to never see you again. Please don’t be mad, but I may have peeked at your mail to see what college you would go to. I was so proud of you when you got into the college you wanted! You would talk to your friends for hours on the phone about how you were so nervous. I crossed every finger for you, my beloved Henry, and you did it!

I was still too shy to ask you out, but I thought if you would see me everyday, maybe you would say hello. I’m very sorry to go through your things, my beloved Henry, but I needed to know your class schedule. I wasn’t smart enough to get into college, like you, but I knew I could pretend for just a little while until you could meet me and see that I really am the love of your life. And then it wouldn’t matter that I memorized your route from the dorms to class. We had lunch together so many time, you and I. You would read with your nose so close to the pages, and I would eat quietly on the other side of the courtyard. Star crossed lovers gazing at one another across a sea separating them. It was so romantic, and I loved you all the more for it.

You broke my heart, once, my beloved Henry. But don’t worry! I’ve forgiven you, because I know now that you were tricked and manipulated. Just like in high school, I will always protect and keep you safe. I saw you at the party with that girl. That wretched, ugly beast of a girl who thought she could flutter her eyelashes and make you like her. Just like a dog in heat, she followed you around for weeks, making you go to lunch with her, meeting each others’ friends, and then she told you some lie to make you kiss her in the dark of the park walkway. I forgive you, my beloved Henry. She is just a manipulative cretin who thought she could take advantage of your kind and innocent heart.

I forgive you, because I know it wasn’t your fault when you got married to that witch. Do you remember the wedding gift of your favorite books? I gave you those! I remember all the books you’ve read, and I made sure to get all the ones you didn’t have yet. I wanted you to recieve a gift, not that salacious wretch. I wanted you to know that I still love you, and that all you needed to do was to reach out to me, and I will protect you and save you from the awful life with that manipulative woman. Imagine my horror for your plight when I heard she tricked you into getting her pregnant, the skank!

I heard your job interview, my beloved Henry. The supervisor was so impressed with you and told everyone so afterwards. I was so proud, and I made sure to get a job in the same building. I’m always loyal to you, my beloved Henry. I didn’t dare approach you, because I would never attempt to flirt with a married man. No, I’m respectful and moral, and I would never do something so hurtful to the one I love. How many time do you think your “beautiful” wife has flirted with other men? Do you really believe that hussy could ever love and respect you like I do?

Do you remember when you ran into me in the stairwell? I was walking down as you were coming up, and you accidently dropped your files, just like when we first met. I helped you collect your things, my adorably clumsy Henry, and then our hands touched. You looked up into my eyes, and I knew you recognized me! With that one look, I knew you remembered me from all those years ago, that you too also held a deep love for me. I knew with your glance that you were sorry for all the pain you’ve caused me, and you wanted desperately to be with me. You said with your eyes how you hated your whore of a wife, and you needed me to save you. As you took back your things and gave me your thanks, I swore I would do everything to save you, my beloved Henry.

Do you remember Ben Devers, my beloved Henry? Do you remember how I said I protected you from him? It made me so mad when I saw him picking on you that I found him when he went to the bathroom, and I slit his throat, bleeding him like the pig that he was.

Please don’t be angry, my beloved Henry. I did it all for you!

I killed that evil Ben Devers for you!

I corrected your test answers for you!

I blackmailed the Dean at your college for you!

I threatened your boss at your new job for you!

I sent your wife threats to leave for you!

I told your mistake-children to kill themselves for you!

But did anyone listen to me? No! I gave them plenty of warning, my beloved Henry. And I know that you need someone who is good to their word. Don’t bother going home tonight, my dearest Henry. No one is there. I made sure no one would ever get in the way of our love for one another. I see now that all of this has been a test to see if I truly love you as much as you love me, and I passed Henry! We can be together forever now! The police will never find the bodies of that fake family you had, I made sure of it for you!

You’re safe now, Henry. I’ve rescued you from that evil witch and the burden of taking care of her brats. Come to me, my beloved Henry. I’m waiting for you in the next room. Please come and tell me how you too have loved me all these years.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

XOXOXOX