To my beloved, Henry

I write this to you to finally admit my love for you after all these years. Do you remember when we first met? In first period, after that bully, Ben Devers, cut your backpack open? I felt so bad for you, so I helped you collect your books and homework off the ground. Do you remember how our hands touched? You looked up into my eyes, and I felt my cheeks flush.

Your eyes are like honey

collected from the darkest rose.

How I wish to swim in the sweetness

of my dear lover’s gaze.

I love your eyes most of all. You hurried your goodbye, and then you were gone, but in my heart, you will always reside. I was never brave enough to approach you. I felt so shy, and you were so cool with all your friends laughing and the way you read books with your cute button nose only a few inches from the page. How I wish you would study me like your books. Do you remember what happened to Ben? The teachers said he exchanged schools halfway through the year, but I made sure to keep you safe, my beloved Henry. I’ve protected you.

You are so smart! I secretly envied your quickness in class, and I was so proud of you when you achieved the highest grades of our year. Do you remember when you threw away your calculus exam? Please don’t think it weird, but I kept it all these years. It still kind of smells like you. Cedar with just a hint of your sweat from gym class. It makes me swoon with desire.

Do you remember your locker combination? It was your little brother’s birthday. I remember, because I watched you, my beloved Henry, when I would be at my locker just across the hall. Do you remember my little gifts? Please don’t be mad, but I stole an old tshirt. I just wanted to feel

you with me when I slept. Just like our love, we would see each other across the way, but it would still be many years until we would be together.

When we graduated, I couldn’t let you go. I had loved you for so long that I couldn’t bare to never see you again. Please don’t be mad, but I may have peeked at your mail to see what college you would go to. I was so proud of you when you got into the college you wanted! You would talk to your friends for hours on the phone about how you were so nervous. I crossed every finger for you, my beloved Henry, and you did it!

I was still too shy to ask you out, but I thought if you would see me everyday, maybe you would say hello. I’m very sorry to go through your things, my beloved Henry, but I needed to know your class schedule. I wasn’t smart enough to get into college, like you, but I knew I could pretend for just a little while until you could meet me and see that I really am the love of your life. And then it wouldn’t matter that I memorized your route from the dorms to class. We had lunch together so many time, you and I. You would read with your nose so close to the pages, and I would eat quietly on the other side of the courtyard. Star crossed lovers gazing at one another across a sea separating them. It was so romantic, and I loved you all the more for it.

You broke my heart, once, my beloved Henry. But don’t worry! I’ve forgiven you, because I know now that you were tricked and manipulated. Just like in high school, I will always protect and keep you safe. I saw you at the party with that girl. That wretched, ugly beast of a girl who thought she could flutter her eyelashes and make you like her. Just like a dog in heat, she followed you around for weeks, making you go to lunch with her, meeting each others’ friends, and then she told you some lie to make you kiss her in the dark of the park walkway. I forgive you, my beloved Henry. She is just a manipulative cretin who thought she could take advantage of your kind and innocent heart.

I forgive you, because I know it wasn’t your fault when you got married to that witch. Do you remember the wedding gift of your favorite books? I gave you those! I remember all the books you’ve read, and I made sure to get all the ones you didn’t have yet. I wanted you to recieve a gift, not that salacious wretch. I wanted you to know that I still love you, and that all you needed to do was to reach out to me, and I will protect you and save you from the awful life with that manipulative woman. Imagine my horror for your plight when I heard she tricked you into getting her pregnant, the skank!

I heard your job interview, my beloved Henry. The supervisor was so impressed with you and told everyone so afterwards. I was so proud, and I made sure to get a job in the same building. I’m always loyal to you, my beloved Henry. I didn’t dare approach you, because I would never attempt to flirt with a married man. No, I’m respectful and moral, and I would never do something so hurtful to the one I love. How many time do you think your “beautiful” wife has flirted with other men? Do you really believe that hussy could ever love and respect you like I do?

Do you remember when you ran into me in the stairwell? I was walking down as you were coming up, and you accidently dropped your files, just like when we first met. I helped you collect your things, my adorably clumsy Henry, and then our hands touched. You looked up into my eyes, and I knew you recognized me! With that one look, I knew you remembered me from all those years ago, that you too also held a deep love for me. I knew with your glance that you were sorry for all the pain you’ve caused me, and you wanted desperately to be with me. You said with your eyes how you hated your whore of a wife, and you needed me to save you. As you took back your things and gave me your thanks, I swore I would do everything to save you, my beloved Henry.

Do you remember Ben Devers, my beloved Henry? Do you remember how I said I protected you from him? It made me so mad when I saw him picking on you that I found him when he went to the bathroom, and I slit his throat, bleeding him like the pig that he was.

Please don’t be angry, my beloved Henry. I did it all for you!

I killed that evil Ben Devers for you!

I corrected your test answers for you!

I blackmailed the Dean at your college for you!

I threatened your boss at your new job for you!

I sent your wife threats to leave for you!

I told your mistake-children to kill themselves for you!

But did anyone listen to me? No! I gave them plenty of warning, my beloved Henry. And I know that you need someone who is good to their word. Don’t bother going home tonight, my dearest Henry. No one is there. I made sure no one would ever get in the way of our love for one another. I see now that all of this has been a test to see if I truly love you as much as you love me, and I passed Henry! We can be together forever now! The police will never find the bodies of that fake family you had, I made sure of it for you!

You’re safe now, Henry. I’ve rescued you from that evil witch and the burden of taking care of her brats. Come to me, my beloved Henry. I’m waiting for you in the next room. Please come and tell me how you too have loved me all these years.

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

XOXOXOX

Professor Jessi Vitta paced the room wringing her hands. Her eyes were wide and but did not have the madness that everyone claimed her brown displayed. She stopped behind the desk where she had placed a neat stack of papers. Placing a single hand atop the papers she looked straight into my eyes. My pen hovered above the paper of my notebook, my audio recorder had been recording silence for fifteen minutes.

“Let me start you off simple,” Jessi finally said, her voice cracked and dry. She brushed long strands of hair away from her face, tucking them behind her ears. “Mathematics as we know it is a construct. We have used to help explain the phenomena of real life in a concise way. However, it is not perfect.”

Jessi paused to think, her fingers tapping the top of the papers. “I have spent the last fifty-two years sifting through data from colliders, measuring the observable universe, and conducting some of my own experiments. Now, I have found a solution. The problem we faced was that we were not speaking the same language as the universe.”

My pen scratched notes about what she was saying, but I did not respond. She paused again, her brow furrowing in thought.

The professor continued speaking slowly, “I have fixed it, creating a system of mathematics that .”

Another long pause. “In the collisions at the LHC and other colliders, and in the stars I found the primordial language. The language that can explain everything. I was a necessary find, allowing my to develop my now famous theory of quantum gravity; solving the problem that has plagued generations of physicists.”

Jessi sat down in the chair, her eyes moving to focus on the paper in front of her. Carefully lifting the top page, she set it aside. Then, delicately, she lifted the second page, and held it up to show me. On it were a series of symbols that I could not recognize, I nodded at it and she set it down.

“This is the language of the gods and I have learned to speak it,” her voice was soft, it drew me forward, my eyes now focused on her intensely.

Silence again, another pause. “When the universe began there was no sound, they call it the big bang but there was no noise, no bang, just silence. About three-hundred fifty thousand years after the big bang, the universe learned to speak. The first sound was like the bells of angels ringing across the infant universe. As the universe expanded, the plasma lost too much density to pass the waves any longer. The waves stopped suddenly. In their place, at the crest of their waves, galaxies sprang into existence. You see, the waves created pockets of high density and low density, this inevitably lead to galaxies. Without sound the universe as we know it would not exist at all.”

I nodded, not sure if I should say something to fill the time between pauses. I pursed my lips, resolving to let her speak on her own time. It had been twenty years since her last interview, I would not ruin this opportunity.

Jessi began again, her eyes distant, “It tracked these sounds, as did other astronomers and astrophysicists. But I saw the pattern in the noise. The noises were not random, they were the voice of the gods. I have read it, I had translated it. I know this sounds crazy, I hardly believe myself even after all I’ve seen.”

I lost control for a moment, my mind refusing to not ask the obvious question. “What have you seen?”

She looked at me, a wry smile on her face as if seeing me for the first time. “I have spoken to them and they have shown me things.”

“Spoken to who?” I asked, edging forward on my seat.

“The last god, our sole protector,” she said. “And he has shown me what lies beyond the veil of our understanding. I have only glimpsed it, and I dare not speak of it.”

I found myself unable to speak, I wanted to believe she was crazy, that she had lost her mind in her search for answers. That is not what I saw. Her hair was disheveled, but not dirty, her room was chaotic but in the way of someone who had not had enough time to clean. Here sat a woman that had devoted her life to answering the most difficult questions, not a mad hermit as so many had claimed.

“How do you communicate with them?” I asked after it seemed clear she was not going to begin again.

“I can show you,” she said eagerly before standing. She motioned for me to follow her out of the room. My camera operator followed silently as she was trained to do, and we walked through the small house that the professor had built years ago. As the daughter of a major tech company’s CEO she had inherited a fortune, but she lived in apparent modesty. Her simple two story house was surrounded by ten acres but was near enough to town to have high speed internet and electricity.

She led us to the basement where a steel door blocked the way. Typing a code into the keypad the door unlocked and swung open. I expected the room inside to look like the bridge of the starship Enterprise, but instead it was far less impressive. Behind the heavy steel door was a series of desktop computers and server racks. The room had a single massive glass pane, tinted dark enough that I could not see through it.

She motioned us into the room and told the camera operator where to point the camera to prevent accidentally revealing any secrets. She had me sit next to her at one of the computer terminals. The professors hands danced across the keyboard, typing quickly as she swapped between software windows. Finally she brought up a camera and from the camera’s view I could see the tinted pane of glass at the end of the room. The room was simple, a circular room with a pedestal at the center that was topped with a glass sphere.

A siren rang for a few moments before sound filled the air, like the roar of a jet engine through thick glass. The view from the camera showed the sphere at the center of the room begin to light up.

“Right now, the sphere is being filled with superhot plasma, I’m emulating the state when the first sound waves were created,” Jessi explained calmly, unaffected by the sound.

The tinted pane at the end of the room began to glow as the orb began to emit bright light.

“To speak with the god, I must enter a message into the plasma,” she explained. She typed a message into a box. This is Jessi, I am telling the world of your presence. Tapping enter, I watched the orb flicker sporadically.

There was a pause where the light remained constant, it lasted only a minute. Then the light began to flicker again. She waited, then a series of symbols I did not recognize appeared on the screen. She read through them carefully her eyes growing wide.

“What does it say?” I asked anxiously.

She swallowed and bit her lip. Slowly she began, “I am dying.”

The orb flickered again, more symbols appeared on the screen.

“Please help me,” she spoke the words carefully. “Please help me. I am not ready to die.”

More flickering, more symbols.

“They are coming, I cannot stop them.”

A pause. The light remained steady for a few moments, then the flickering began followed once more by the steady glow. Jessi stared at it, eyes wide and panicked.

“What does it say?” I asked my voice quivering slightly.

“The gate is open, look to,” she paused trying to read a symbol. “I believe this symbol is the name of a star,” she said pointing to one of the strange symbols then continued. “It is coming, I only hope we have given you enough time.”

“Can you ask what star that is?” I asked her.

She nodded and typed out the message. Where should we look? I don’t know that symbol. The sphere blinked the message for a moment before going still. There was a long pause before the flickering began again. The pulsing seemed slower this time, deeper. Finally the message appeared on the screen.

Jessi read the words slowly, “I see you.”

It was a hot dull day. Maya wanted to escape the sluggish atmosphere. Her phone vibrated, she received a video from her boyfriend. She looked around, everyone was busy with their work. Carefully she took out her earphones and played it . It was an erotic video. She quitely laughed. There was sheer silence, and a cold hand touched her shoulder.

She jerked in shock.

"oh shit" she murmured.

Her manager stood beside her. Maya in a hurry dropped her phone at side of her desk. Its earphones got detached and the video played loudly.

"Ahhhhhhh" love making noises from the video made everyone stand and look. Her phone was struck under desk, she haphazardly extended her hand to get it.

The manager glared at her.

" Maya, come to my office right now"

She obediently followed. At his office, she had to hear loud reprimands.

She came out with a hand at her forehead. "I can't imagine this happened.., how embarassing" she said to herself.

Her worst nightmare had come true. She could hear wolf moaning, howling..and what not from her colleagues. She did not try to look around.

" It would have been better if I was possessed by a ghost" she whispered to herself.

Human Nature

The summer has lingered on to mine surprise and revolt. I have used to hot, as I am from down under. The park behind the school is just what I have required. Few people are there, old man, his grandchild and some girl. I sit on the empty bench and open book.

“Your book is turned upside down”, the girl stands over me. I am looking nor to her nor near her. I am still staring at the child and his grandfather. Only gesture of mine is hand waving off around her face. It is enough for park to be down to three creatures. I should tell her how the writer is famous Tolstoyevski. I have turned around to see if she is still here, but she was long gone.

The little one isn’t that innocent, he understands, suspects some foul play. He is now watching me, without any movement on his face, probably wishing to know how to plead sympathy from me. As his grandpa calls for him, heavy thoughts, just moment ago within his head, now are “writings on the water” to say it like some poet. The fun is about to start. I just have to wait for their heads in close vicinity of each other. Now, quick surge, from me, and their brains should swap, as everything is stopped in its tracks. The whole planet is in slow-motion. The cars on the street are as fast as snails; the birds are in some kind of vacuum. It works, I have done it. I have to wait for human nature.

The grandfather is sensing some strange change within himself. He is stretching his limbs, feeling juvenile as the youth brain spreads his vibes. He doesn’t pay much attention to his next of kin, but onto the street, to lovely, juicy, young females as he is over fence and it into new life. Human nature at its finest or darkest hour.

The child is upset, helplessly looking at the street, only seeing lower part of familiar legs, disappearing. The phone is in the grass, ringing, the child can’t answer. Something else is bugging him, something from this different cortex. Old memories, hidden deep down. The horrors of war, running into cold and dark forest, as the village is set ablaze, screams can be heard all around as he runs with his young sister holding his hand but dirty, filthy and awful men are gaining of them. He must let go tiny hand.

All those memories came flooded in, shocking young organism. His old brain recognizes me, from the war, as I was, or the likes of me, leading one group of men after another in a bloody search, giving human nature what it wants. My dark-red cape is spreading around this innocent being, as we are heading down under, whilst mother finds the telephone in the grass, the ball not far away, and no soul left around in the shades of this magnificent park.