Almost

The worst type of pain is all the “almost”s in life.

She almost loved me back.

He almost made it out of the ER.

They almost decided their relationship was worth it.

Maybe you were almost enough. If she had called more, or maybe you had answered faster, or you guys had spent more time talking than thinking about each, you almost could have been each other's half.

If she had reacted faster or answered faster, he could have almost made it out. If he hadn't been ignored and dismissed by everyone around him, he could have stayed and things could have almost been different.

It’s physical as much as mental. It circles in your head, following you and everytime you hear their favourite song or see someone who looks just slightly too much like them, you can’t help but get butterflies or lose your energy to sing along. Nights spent crying over something you can’t even hold or capture is just as painful as losing a tangible object. Except, soon it won’t exist anywhere but in your memories. Because you almost could have avoided this situation, but you also know you wouldn’t have chosen anything else because of the wonderful and irreplaceable part of the almost. All the heartbreak and sadness and loss comes hand in had with it. There isn’t a choice. Yet, you almost, almost could’ve avoided it. Almost.