I hate Myself For Hating You.

i wanted to be loved, i begged and pleaded. no one would liesen. so when i was on the floor bleading from my wrists why did you love me then? why did you only love me when i was broken become fixing? why was i not fucking good enough? was it because i'm to ugly? because im stupid?

you should've loved me before i tried to die, you shoul've seen a little 7 year old falling apart, you should've heard a 7 year old crying herself to sleep. but only when i was only the floor bleeding did you ask 'why?' only then did you stop for a second and look.

i am broken, i was bleeding, no hospital you just called me a selfish bitch who didn't care about the body he had to bury.

oh no sweetie, i thought about it all. i thought about Everything.

you think i was planning this for months. i've been planing this for YEARS.

but you can't see it can you? how i hate you, how i hate myself for hating you. i hate myself for the way i feel about you.

because i hate my own father, i hate myself, that is something that can never be forgotten.