Essence contact

In bed with my wife, I joked, "You know I love so much."

"How much?" she played along.

"How do I count the ways? Well, number 1001: I love you for your beautiful brown eyes.

"That's easy." she smirked.

"Number 837: I love you for the way you ran around the parking lot after you got your new sneakers at REI. Number 529: I love you for that way you say my name, the vocal inflection you use. Number 997,"...and so it went, until she smiled and laughed; and we fell asleep together.

And when I saw she was having a trying day, "You know how much I love you?

"How much? she brightened.

"Number 998: I love you for no reason at all. Number 83: I love you for your son. Number 7: I love you for the way you laugh when I say that word. Should I say it?"

"What word?" She inquired hesitantly.

"Goofball." I smiled.

And she laughed and laughed like she was drunk with joy. Then we climbed the stairs. I followed her and playfully slapped her behind.

And one tense afternoon, "You know how much I love you?"

"Oh boy," she rolled her eyes.

"Number 367: I love you for the soul you are in this life. Number 746: I love you for the the way you sing that song by Richard Clayderman (that I did not like but came to adore because she did.) Number 111: The way you feel when I have my arms around you when we take our afternoon naps together. Number: 27..., and so it went until I felt stymied and embarrassed because this time I could not think of another thing to say.

It was a gift, a running joke, an expression of my love for her, and a reminder to myself to keep going deep inside and realize all the ways I appreciate this beautiful ancient being who chose to be with me for awhile.