Classless B*tch

Dear L,

I first called you low class but then I realized that it was actually an insult to those who have a semblance of class. When we first met I wanted to be your friend and ignored all the red flags. I chose not to question why you shut somebody out simply because she did not disclose all the details of her PRIVATE relationship with her boyfriend. You even confessed to me about how you read her diary.

Then there was the relationship with your boyfriend. You said he hit you which was absolutely wrong of him. Yet, I was around both of you enough to know that you used to deliberately pick fights with him to provoke him. On many of the instances, I agreed with his side of things moreso than yours. The abuse was a two way street, he was physical to a degree but you were emotional and often verbally hit him where it hurt. I am not condoning what he did to you but I can see why it happened.

All of a sudden you turned against me because I did not fully disclose information about myself that I was too vulnerable to share. It all started because I had a crush on somebody that I knew deep down did not return my feelings. I should have never mentioned to you that I liked someone. When I did, I should have told you that I did not feel like disclosing the details such as his name. It was cowardly of me to make up a name and then let the lie spin. But don’t you think it is a little bit off the wall to let it fester the way you did? Is this a lie to destroy someone’s life over?

You did exactly that. I welcomed you into my core group of friends and one by one, you turned them against me. They stopped inviting me to things. It all started when you invited a group to your family’s cabin and excluded me. A few years before I let you into my life, I would have assumed that there were two weddings I would have not only been invited to but would have stood up in. Because of your poison, I had to sit on the sidelines at one wedding and watch you walk down the aisle in a bridesmaid’s dress. The other wedding, I was not even extended an invitation. It really stung when I went to a comedy club with my parents and saw you in a group with people whom in the past I would have been extended an invitation to join. Was my lie really that unforgivable?

Yes, I was wrong to write that book and self-publish it. I should have kept it in a drawer for a while and then rework it with an objective eye. Even though it was in the past, I should have seen that I should not have gone full disclosure. But you did not have the right to publish those two one star “reviews,” especially the second one, where you spun all your lies and half truths about me.

For your information, I did earn that Master’s degree. Full scholarship just like I told everyone. I did a simple Google search and found the title of my thesis online. I have a letter which I saved on the university letterhead of my acceptance and teaching assistantship/scholarship offer and a copy of my diploma. Research your facts before you tell someone that I lied about this degree. True, I only applied to the school because someone I thought I loved and could spend the rest of my life lived there but I did not go there to chase him as you blatantly stated. By the time I accepted the offer me and said person had not spoken in several months.

You claimed that I do not care about others illnesses, struggles with family issues, etc. At the time, I did not have a sick parent. I was fortunate enough not to deal with that until 20 years after you did. I could not imagine losing a parent in your 20s like you did. I tried to support you in the best way I knew how. I could not even imagine this in my limited life experience and in trying to be supportive, I may have said/did the wrong things but it wasn’t because I didn’t care.

Same with you and your chronic illness. I tried to help you when you said you were in pain. It may be no excuse, but I have never had arthritis, so I had no idea what you needed from me. How was I supposed to know if you didn’t ask me specifically for support? You were not sympathetic to my chronic illness either. It is easy to not understand something that isn’t visible. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). My PCOS caused heavy, painful menstruation and though I didn’t understand it at the time, instability with my weight, often causing weight gain for no explanable reason. There were times when I resorted to diet shakes. I was ashamed that I could not be like everyone else. I could not have late night snacks on midnight fast food runs or simply control it with portion control and exercise. Yet you mocked me in that “review” by mentioning my use of these shakes in a negative light and that I “lied” about dieting. How does one lie about dieting? It’s not as clear cut and simple as it’s made out to be.

Because of your grudge against me, I have lost people who were important to me. You have destroyed my self esteem. I have not tried to write anything seriously because I’m too afraid of saying the wrong thing. With new people who have expressed that they like me and want to be my friend, I hold them at arm’s length because I don’t want to be stabbed in the back again.

I almost forgot about the worst thing you accused me of and am editing this. You stated in your “review” that I wish my friends dead. I would never even fathom that, even for you as much as I hate you. What most likely happened was that you probably brought it up and me not thinking you were serious, I probably laughed off your remark about D and maybe said something sarcastic. The truth is, I don’t even remember this so-called conversation. I do know D had some health problems and maybe there was a rivalry between us but I would have never have had that horrible thought. As much as I was jealous of her, I loved her and considered her one of my closest friends. I don’t know where you got that idea that I would have such a terrible thought about her, much less vocalize it. I cannot believe you think that badly of me to make such an accusation.

I should not let a classless b*tch like you rule my life but look what power you had over me and those connected to me. I hate you more that I have hated anyone in my entire life. All this toxicity over a stupid crush that I put behind me a long time ago. Nobody believes what a toxic individual you are, how vicious and vengeful you can be and I can only hope that sooner or later, you are found out.

With Lots of Hate,

Me