every time, i write about you, and i hate that
Hour and minutes and second tries
spent retrying the failures from last time
shards of lies litter the floor
you don’t get it, do you?
you wouldn’t know, of course
it’s a danger, loving you
trusting you, i fall,
how would i know?
i don’t
because they would tell me
it’s not worth it
coming closer
getting lower
i
have
to
get
out
of here
fall again
i thought you knew
but shattered truths
cut my canvas
tear the paper
rip me into shreds
it’s dangerous, you know
mirror blades, on the floor
laying there
silent
unforgiving
sing me a little song
a tune of your mask
of your deception
tie my wounds up again
with string and lies
gaze in the mirror
wanting to change
wanting to go
but stuck for tomorrow
i couldn’t tell you why
don’t tell me i do
i tried
but
it wouldn’t free me
not yet
not this time
the rivers flow and shadows fall
try it again
darkness patches together
drowning in nothing
i reached out and took it
i didn’t even know
it was you again
again
you
were
there
whirlpools churn in the ocean
deep
below the plastic surface
cover
of cerulean crystal
that can’t be saved
and the river still flows into the ocean
again and again
storms
thunder cries
the calm before the storm
you say?
uh huh
tell me
what does that mean
the fake before the fall
or the truth before it all?
it’s neither, isn’t it?
claw my senses away to forget you
and forget the words you told me
never forget
tainting my golden light
cold and shallow
lies
i would leave
i would go
but it’s not my fault you’re here
i can’t say i want that
but
what can i do
ahahaha
yeah
tell me again
those lies from before
one day you’ll regret it
just like i do
all those times
we spent
lost in the winds of
then
and now
how did it ever get that bad
what else can we do but
remember
talk again and forget never but always
try again
helpless
that’s it
trying again but never going forward
it’s been too long
and yet it never ends
why cant i just leave it alone
so once again we sit here
wondering why
it never works
but never question
if it really ever was
and we don’t know
why
was it our fate
to be here this way
day after day
selfish
one of a kind
where did the light
in our eyes
the spark of us
where did that go
lost with the wind again
nothing more again
on the road again
empty space
endless path
same old, same old
then you came
and i forgot about him
but why did you choose me
it wasn’t ever going to work
why me
roses
darkness
shadows
when i asked you why
you didn’t know
a distraction, probably
from the past and the pain
again
count the days past again
one year later
same story
maybe i should walk the path alone
not yet
bitter forgiveness still lurks
i want the toxin again
the good times
but i live in the shadows
learn to grow
in the dark
where i belong
in the night
alone
make my world mine again
i’ll be okay
for now
on the path
i’ll make it
and i’ll find my way
and no, i still don’t know
who i am
and for now
i guess
i sort of became another
but i’m still me?
since i don’t know me
how would i be me
i could just as easily be him
separate
again
no
i wont go back
drink the past memories
and drown once more
forget
and know it all
maybe it’s better this way
i wanted
i don’t want it
close my eyes
and close off the me
that knew him and
knew of the fear
open
earring of gold
and amber, truth, a new one
icy waters
diving in
freezing in the currents
drowning
i want you all the time
why
no
i don’t
i want the inky darkness
of my own
ready
set
go
midnight moonshine
triple light
starlight desert
my own desire
golden
dunes
shifting sands
cover the tracks
never go back
drink again
leave it behind
i knew him once, yeah
and now i know my new reality
without him
forget him
forget it
keep walking
opportunity
no
not again
keep walking
let him go
let them go
let it all go
you make your reality
you don’t need them to do it
golden amber
golden amber
blowing sands
glacier eyes
winter kiss
fantasy, sure
i don’t care
i’ll settle for the ghost
i only know
my own thoughts are all i need
leave me be
keep walking
call me crazy
blame the stars
i know it’s you
not me
liar
again and again
you try to tell me
that you can change
and make it better
i can’t hear
stir up the tornado,
the hurricane close
behind, the walls of my own
stronghold
i’ll be safe here, myself and i
and i’ll maybe see you
on the other side of the storm
but if it kills you
i wouldn’t really mind
maybe i would
i’ll settle for it
and my world
my wonderland
my paradise
my universe
Here’s the playlist (it was about 30 minutes of writing or so)(i also didn’t edit anything after writing it so there’s probably mistakes somewhere)
Dangerous (Oliver Remix) - Big Data
A Sadness Runs Through Him - The Hoosiers
Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing - Set It Off
Generation Why - Conan Gray
Black Rose - Volbeat
Pork Soda - Glass Animals
Wonderland - Caravan Palace
The Other Side Of Paradise - Glass Animals