I Wish I Knew

I’ll never know

if we got married

and had kids, their names:

Sam,

Rose,

and Mar.

I’ll never know

whether or not you loved me,

or if you just hung around for my body.

I’ll never know

If we became close friends,

not caring that we were once lovers.

I wish I knew

how you were really doing,

I wish you would have told me.

I wish I knew

more about you,

I wanted to memorize you like I memorized every word of my favourite song.

I wish I knew

every thought you had

so that I could understand why.

I know

I can’t ever know any of this,

but I’ll always wonder.

I know

I can’t make you come back

but I want you to.

I know

I can’t change the past

but knowing that never helps.

I wish I knew why you killed yourself,

I wish I knew why you would leave me,

I wish I knew what I could have done.

But knowing can’t always help.