Hope, Something we all need.
Hope. Hope is a “different” word. Hope means wanting something to happen. It also means trust. I like both of the, but if I had to choose, I’d choose the second one. I’ve had moments where I felt like I really didn’t belong anywhere. In other words, I felt worthless. In those moments, those close to me noticed something was wrong. They asked me multiple times whether I was okay. “I’m fine!” Is all I said while faking a smile. They weren’t dumb enough to be tricked by that.
I was at my lowest. I had pushed all my friends away. My family didn’t know how to deal with this, so they didn’t do anything. I felt like the only hope, the only light, in my life had disappeared. It left me, leaving me behind in an empty dark void all by myself. I lost my ability to trust anyone that day.
A few days later, one of my “friends” asked me a question. “Are you okay?” As usual I replied with a smile. He saw right through me. He gripped my shoulders. “Don’t lie. Tell me the truth. What’s wrong?” Hearing those words, my emotions took over me. I started crying. He smiled. When I finally got control over myself, he asked. “Do you trust me?”
I told him what was happening to me, and he was kind enough to listen all the way through. After I finished, he said something I’ll never forget. I don’t think I can forget it. “You don’t need to solve everything on your own. You need to trust people, rely on people. You’ll witness betrayal, you’ll witness heart break, but all I know you’re going to be just fine. You wanna know why? Because you’re you! I’ve seen things. I know you can do it. I know it! And, I’ll be with you every step of the way. When things get rough, I’ll always have your back.” After months of wandering in the darkness alone, I had finally found a light. This light was far brighter than anything before. This light filled the darkness, revealing a beautiful world. All I had to do to find it. Trust.