It's been quite some time since I felt like writing. Life was full of... life. Oh, so many joyful moments, followed by bits of sadness that just kept accumulating. I tried to push it down, push it away, hoping it would stay away.

When you bottle up sadness, it stays that way. Until it doesn't. When the bottle finally shatters, it feels overwhelming. All sorts of alarms start ringing. You don't feel hungry. You don't want to meet people. You feel sleepy all day, yet fail to fall asleep. Things change, yet it doesn't feel like they have. "It's still the same, isn't it?"

You're back to who you were before, the same habits, the same way of thinking, the same mannerisms. "When did this last happen again?" You think to yourself.

Thinking back, my life had lots of sadness, but that's fine; humans tend to remember the sad moments more. But why are those all I remember?

You try to continue going forward so no one else feels bothered by your change. You keep acting like you always do. But that's all it is, an act. Who gets to know what's beneath it? Maybe not even me.

Every day feels more like a drag. I'm drowning, but not dying. I'm on fire, and it hurts, but I'm still alive. What's the point? Going on for so long, and what for? To end up old and wrinkly, with chronic pain. It's nothing but a painful life with hopes of a fulfilled end.

I don't want it.

"You can do it if you put your heart to it," they said. "You have so much potential," they said.

What is it to have potential? What does it mean to put your heart into something? Does it mean to try your hardest? And what if you fail despite that? Is your potential gone? Are you still not trying hard enough?

Why do I have to try harder than the rest? Why am I not like the rest? Why can't I understand them? Why can't they understand me?

Why am I being called out? What is so different about me? Why am I special? Why am I me?

I stopped going to school about a month ago. It was too much for me. The day I ran away, I stayed at my friend's house. After a week, I decided it would be best not to bother them too much. I stayed on the streets after that. When you eventually found me, I was forced to go back home. The home I adored so much, yet now, I despised.

He was the only one who understood, the only one who cared.

The day he said he was leaving was a heartbreaking day. Perhaps, one of the hardest days of my life. I thought he would be someone who would never lie. I regret lashing out that day. At all of you. I didn't think I'd be this pathetic after he left. He promised me he would never lie, so why now? He's gone now so it doesn't matter. The hallways where we first met seem so lively, yet feel so lonely. I can't bear it.

Why didn't he tell me he was sick?

Why did he leave me?

Why did he lie?

I hate him.

Dear mom, dad, and anyone else who comes upon this:

I'm sorry.

"I have the sacred power of-" Rikka announced as she was promptly hit in the head by the teacher. Glaring, the teacher walked back to her desk. "Hmph! You mortals can't comprehend my power! I'm too strong for you!" Rikka exclaimed, storming out of the class.

My friend, Rikka, had always been like this. She always pretended as if she had powers. No one really knows why, but we all just accept it as a part of her. However, recently, Rikka has started having more outbursts. She gets irritated a lot more easily as well. 

Due to her frequent outbursts, I have been assigned to bring her back to class, as I'm her closest friend.  With the teacher's permission, I followed Rikka. I darted from hallway to hallway, hoping to find her. After an unfruitful search, I returned to class and informed the teacher. As I lay the news on her, her face began to turn pale. She looked for her phone, only to drop it twice while trying to message someone.  

"Aiden, meet me after school. I'll be in the staff room."

I headed towards the staff room after school. Rikka had still not shown up, which was unusual. Upon entering the staff room, I was asked to sit down. "Aiden, listen to me. Rikka's actions are beginning to worry me. I need you to go to her house and ask her sister what is going on. I'm sure you've been to her house before, so you know the situation with her parents," The teacher said, handing me a file. "Give this to her sister. Now, be on your way."

"Rikka has had over twelve outbursts in the last week, all of which led to running away from class. The teacher instructed me to hand this file over to you," I informed her, handing over the file. "On a personal note, why does Rikka act like this? And why have these outbursts started?" I inquired. She smiled at me. She quickly got up from her seat and asked Rikka to get some groceries. Stealthily, Rikka sneaked out and left.

"Her delusions stem from her father. He would like it when she acted like this, like a person with powers. Rikka... was very close with her father. This was her way of coping with his death. She would act like Father was still alive but was beyond the horizon. When I moved out, she came with me as Mother didn't want someone like her. Rikka has been like this since. As for the recent issues, Rikka has to move back soon. I'm moving to Italy next week, so she has to stay with our mother again." After processing all of that, I thanked her and left.

One week later, Rikka was moving out. I helped her put her stuff in the car and waited. I had a gift ready for her. As she was about to sit in the car, I called out to her. "Rikka! Take this!" She walked towards me and I gave her the gift. As she was about to head back, I hugged her. "We like you just the way you are, Rikka. Never forget that."

“Thank you. Thank you, Aiden”

(If you recognize what this is based on, I love you)

"Wanna head to the arcade after school?" I suggested, knowing full well we have exams in less than a month. 

"We have-"

"Exams, yeah, yeah, I know. It's good to blow off some steam every now and then, you know." 

Kuro and I have been friends since the very beginning. We quickly became inseparable. "We'll stay together forever!" How foolish I was to think the meaningless ramble of a child would hold true in our future.

The day after the exams finished, we headed to our local arcade. It's a short trek from the school, but not many people frequent it. It's an activity for people like me; people who are the exact opposite of Kuro. 

Since before the exams, I've noticed Kuro staring blankly at a wall, only paying attention after I mention it to him, which he casually smiles off claiming 'he's just tired'. 

We were making our way to the arcade. The walk there was silent, only occasionally being interrupted by the sound of a car going by. Kuro was playing with his fingers the whole way there. We stopped just outside the castle of quirky noises and even quirkier smells. "Head inside, Kuro. I'll meet with you in a bit." 

I got some food and went inside the arcade. After quickly reuniting we him, we sat on opposite sides of the Street Fighter machine. "Listen, Kagami, I have to tell you something," He said, his voice quavering. "I got accepted into a top school. It's in another city. I-I'm moving." 

"I see. Well, that's good for you, isn't it? A top school, huh? Good for you." I noticed my voice started to quaver too. Kuro just told me that and came to hug me. I moved away from him. He took it as a signal and left. I was left all alone in my madness.

"He's going to a top school, that's awesome for him. But, no matter what, I don't want him to leave. I don't want to be deserted. I want him to stay with me. But what if... I'm holding him back. Do I want to deprive him of his future? I'm that selfish, huh?" I cried myself to sleep that night.

I wanted to see him off, so I set out for his house the next day. It wasn't too far from my home, so it didn't take long to get there. As soon as I arrived at the door, I rang the bell. No reply. I kept ringing and waiting. 

"No one lives there anymore, kid. They moved out yesterday." 

"I see..." 

It’s been almost a year since I last saw her. We couldn’t even end on a good note. But now, now I’m finally back. I couldn’t talk to her either, so we have so much to catch up on. I hope she forgives me.

“Her house was, uh, to the right? No, left? I’ll go right,” I said to myself. It was hard to contain my excitement. The place looked a lot more different this time. All the lights were off, and the sidewalk had a lot of trash on it. Nevertheless, I know for sure she won’t leave this place.

I hurried to where I heard she was. The place looked well kept, but something about it gave off a creepy vibe. It took me a while to find her, but when I did, my happiness shot through the roof.

“Hah, I found you. Certainly took me a while. Been a while, huh? I hope you’ll forgive me for last time. Anyway, I know you won’t talk to me, so I’ll tell you what I’ve been doing: My job kept me pretty busy, that’s why I couldn’t visit you. I got a new apartment. And that’s about my entire year. I’ll come back soon,” I said, this time with tears. “When I do, I promise we’ll able to talk. I promise.” I walked out of the cemetery with one goal in mind. Seeing her again.

When I was young, my life was dull. Nothing grand ever happened. I was never really social back then. I always wanted something fun but never got it. The most exciting thing I ever did was play around with a couple of kids.

My "exciting" time ended when I entered high school. Halfway through, I had forgotten what it felt to be excited. The thrill, the adrenaline. This led to depression. Back then, it was looked down upon for men to "have mental issues" and all you had to do was "man up". I could tell no one for I feared I would be ridiculed. I just wanted a light. A bright, glimmering, shiny light. One bright enough to turn the night into day.

A few weeks later, my wish came true. It was in the morning, but the sky was dark. A bright, light appeared out of nowhere. My eyes were wide with amazement. Then it stopped. It disappeared. "No matter," I said. I could feel the adrenaline in my veins. Less than a couple seconds later, it came back. But it was much brighter than before. I saw the light... and I wish I had never known such pain. Everything before me was enveloped in light. In a beautiful light. As the light came closer, my life flashed before my eyes. I remembered this previous year. This past year, 1945, was one that was most dull. At least this year ended with my wish coming true. I found the light.

Who you gonna call? Tohru! Hey everyone- it's Tohru for the final episode of weekly dose of happiness. This was a really fun thing to do. This series was started by Mollo25 and me because y'all looked gloomy.

Starting with plants. The invasive pampas grass has been uprooted from all known locations on Hawai’i Island. The Big Island Invasive Species Committee announced the eradication of the grass on Tuesday.

https://bigislandnow.com/2020/09/23/pampas-grass-eradicated-from-hawaii-island-biisc-reports/

Onto to Colorado. The Colorado "Orange Apple", which was thought to be extinct, has been rediscovered.

https://nationalpost.com/life/food/lost-apple-found-elusive-colorado-orange-apple-thought-to-be-extinct-resurrected

Bees? Do you guys like them? In Michigan, the bee population has gone up by 50%. Bees are really important to the environment, so this is a good thing. I can already hear bee haters saying "Buzz off"

https://www.metrotimes.com/table-and-bar/archives/2020/09/14/bee-lieve-it-or-not-michigan-bee-populations-are-on-the-rise-according-to-new-data

Moving to France, France's environment minister announced a gradual ban on using wild animals in traveling circuses, on keeping dolphins & killer whales in captivity in marine parks & on raising mink on fur farms. starting immediately, France’s marine parks won’t be able to bring in or breed dolphins & killer whales

https://abcnews.go.com/International/wireStory/france-ban-wild-animals-circuses-marine-parks-73307384

This next story is about a survivor. I'm not gonna spoil.

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/25/world/asia/afghanistan-woman-university.html

Indiana. Amid the COVID-19 pandemic, 15000 children's homes were given free wifi.

https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Living/15000-childrens-homes-surprised-free-wi-fi-amid/story?id=73331800

An 11-year-old girl finds a lost wedding ring on the beach and reunites it with the owner

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-hampshire-54315917

Having pets linked to maintaining better mental health and reducing loneliness during lockdown, research shows

https://www.york.ac.uk/news-and-events/news/2020/research/pets-survey-lockdown-loneliness/

And that's it, everyone! This is the final episode I'll be doing. That is until I decide to continue. So, everyone, this truly was a fun ride. I said I'll have a surprise, and here is my surprise. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ybW48rKBME

With that being said, to those who do watch this video, please don't spoil it in the comments. Remember to stay happy, healthy, and safe.

This is Tohru, signing off.

Happiness isn't a hobby, it's a lifestyle. Hey everyone! It's Tohru with another episode of happiness. Mollo25 and I decided to start this series because everything seemed sad for everyone, and we wanted to make everyone feel happy.

Starting with- Dogs! After the devastation of Hurricane Laura, more than a dozen dogs were left homeless. These dogs boarded a plane and flew to Pittsburgh, where they were given a new life.

https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/hurricane-laura-rescue-no-dog-left-behind-flies-to-the-gulf-coast-to-save-homeless-pets-301136805.html

Moving on to New Zealand. The Prime Minister has pledged to have 100% renewable energy by 2030. New Zealand already produces 84% of its electricity using renewable sources.

https://www.axios.com/new-zealand-renewable-energy-2030-36493cd8-ff1a-4577-9b51-f2ca43d945a8.html

For this next one, I don't want to spoil anything, so just give it a read.

https://aleteia.org/2020/09/16/dolly-partons-decision-to-change-the-future-of-thousands-of-children/

Hmm. It seems one of my sources ran out. Guess it's time for videos!

A tennis player sprained her ankle and was forced to retire. Here is her opponent consoling her.

https://www.reddit.com/r/HumansBeingBros/comments/iv9za5/tennis_player_azarenka_consoling_her_opponent/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

A man rescues a lion tamarin pup and returns it to its mother

https://www.reddit.com/r/HumansBeingBros/comments/iw2ti6/a_man_rescues_a_lion_tamarin_pup_and_returns_it/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3

And that's it, folks! Tune in next week for more happiness. I've decided next week will be my last dose of happiness. I might hand it over to Mollo25 if he can do it. I still have the surprise for anyone still sticking with me. Till then, stay happy, healthy, and safe.