Emotion prompt- grief

It's looking back on all the memories of us, all the pictures flashing through my head, and remembering all the times we laughed together, smiled together, and all the times we would just 'be' together. It's remembering every night when we would eat dinner, and before the actual eating when it'd be an hour long debate of what to eat that particular night, and everytime we went to the subway by the house and the one girl that was always working had our orders down by heart. It's a silent knife in the side that comes with the memories of us when I start seeing billboards for the Lavender festival, whever I drive by the harkins in the mall, and everytime I see a neon estate sale sign. It's you coming out to the garage where I'd always sit on that little short stool whenever we'd fight and our too calm to be normal talks afterwards. It's me sitting on the floor in the spare bedroom of my moms house, surrounded by all my stuff in boxes needing to get unpacked, and not being able to get anything done because I couldn't stop crying. It's waiting around to see if you'd reach out and being ecstatic to receive any kind of text from you at all. It's that boulder felt drop from my throat to gut when I found out you were moving on while I was still stuck on the time when you said you still loved me but you just didn't know how to fix it and maybe we just needed time apart. It hurts. It's ignoring your happy birthday text 3 months later, and being short with you 2 weeks later when you wanted to reach out. It's bitter and cold and why do I still want it back?

I left a part of me with you and I'm still searching for a way to get it back.

It's grieving the loss of us and that part of me that gre next to you.