Love Notes

Do you see that I love you?

Tears splattering on musical notes,

As I watch you leave again.

My fingers are strumming from necessity

Because if I stop, they will take it out

On jiggling arms and fat legs.

Do you see that I want you?

My heart sighs every time you go

Because I know you’re crawling in with her

While I’m sat waiting here, writing,

Trying to remind myself that I do it for—

Love, I guess, but I don’t feel it anymore.

Do you see that I’m here for you?

Under the oversized hoodie and running mascara

That makes you think of her while you’re with me,

There is a girl trying her damnedest

To please you and be your everything,

And trying not to cry when you leave again.

Will you miss me? I think quietly,

Slicing again because I can’t keep pretending,

Looking through tears at notes and smiling

At my own creations until you blow in

And tell me that I ruin everything and how

You can’t believe I’d try to leave you like this.

Will you care the day that you are too late?

The day you saunter in, smelling of her,

To see my blood that I was too dead to clean

Splattered around the house you left me in,

On the stove and linoleum I was told to clean,

On the guitar I used to forget that you weren’t mine,

Will you cry or just walk out and marry her?

Will I even care about your answer anymore?