come back home

"They don't care like I do! They'll leave you as soon as the parties end." I huffed at him. "You've...changed."

"Maybe I've changed for the better. They're my friends, I'm not going to ditch them just because you don't like them!"

"What about me? You're ditching me, to be with you're so called friends. Do I not matter to you anymore? We've been friends since kindergarten!"

"Jenny, that's not what I meant." He stepped forward and put his hand on my cheek. I stared at the floor. I pulled his hand away and stared at the wall. He knew I was mad and I knew he was too.

"I think you know what you mean to me, but I don't even know you anymore." I hear my voice crack as I speak.

"I guess you can't count on anything." He says. I hear his footsteps become distant and I flinch as the door slams.

"I'm in love with you Conner..." I whisper, even though he has already left.

* * *

I wish I could go back. Back before I fell for my best friend. Things would have been different and I wouldn't have cared as much who he hung around. They are toxic. They're ruining his life.

We had planned it all. After high school we would move in with each other to save money. We were best friends, so it was the best plan. This was the first fight we've ever had. He was going to collage to become an engineer and I was going to become a publicist. But his new "friends" convinced him to stop showing up and spend his time partying instead. He's throwing his life away over people who don't even know him. The worst part of all is that he thinks I'm the bad guy. If only I could have told him how I felt. Maybe that could have changed something.

* * *

Conner hasn't came home in a week. Every night I leave the light on, hoping that he will show up and that everything will be all right. I know that it's wrong to wait so long.

He called the other night, but I didn't have the courage to answer the phone. He left a message for me.

"I'm d-doing fine. I just thought I'd tell you. I'm sorry for the way I left things, Jenny..."

He still stutters when he lies. I'm just hoping he'll come to his senses and come home soon.

* * *

Today I've felt especially guilty and decided to take a mental health day. It feels like my heart is broken in two and I can't find the half. My chest is hollow. I wallow in my own self-pity.

I hear the front door to the apartment open right as I'm drifting asleep. My eyes flutter open to see that Conner is standing before me. I stand up and face him. Too many feelings are flooding my mind at once, so tears begin to pour from my eyes.

"I'm sorry, Jenny. I'm so sorry." He walks towards me. "I never should have left. I've been calling, but you never answer, so I thought you were mad at me. I'm sorry for making you feel like I didn't care or that you mean nothing to me."

Conner grabs my hands and we look deep into each other's eyes.

"The truth is, you mean everything to me. You've taught me so much. And I wouldn't be here without you. I was stupid to get involved with those people. I'm going back to school tomorrow. I'm not going to screw this up again."

The sincerity in his eyes makes me sorry for ever being mad at him. He takes his thumb and wipes away a tear by my cheek.

"Oh yeah, one last thing." He tilts my head up and kisses me softly and I feel a huge weight lifted from my shoulders.