Waking up to to you again is only the start.

Stranger things have kept me up at night than the thought of you in my bed again. Pressing pause on the moments that center around you even though all thoughts of you are a waste in my headspace. Daily texts from the optimistic sort of friends trying to naively convince me it will get better eventually. So that’s how I am back with you repeating mistakes I convinced myself I’d only make once. My brain warns me no but, my heart fights for you filtering out the bad to only show me what was good. Wanting the heartbreak to disappear so desperately I rather run back into the scent of your familiarity than confront the problems that define us. The guilt that bullies me isn’t from my friends but, the fact that I wasn’t even a hard win.