just to get you started

tired of the same old job?

want to make a change?

go against the grain, 

discover the exciting world of paid assassinations!

here’s a few tips to get you started.

don’t invest in a super duper weapon,  invest in skills.  take the time to learn how to use,  then master your prefered weapon,  whether it’s a sniper rifle,  a pack of C4,  a poison needle,  just make sure you use it perfectly.

be prepared.  assassination is not all glamour.  it’s mostly days and days of stalking,  learning,  getting to know the mark.  if you can’t stand the thought of being stuck on a roof all day, sweating and hot, just to know your guy goes to the Cinnebun for lunch (deserves to die for that..)  then you should think about doing something else.

learn tech stuff.  yeah.  learn how to hack,  especially for itinerary info.  not a Lethal weapon,  but damn useful one.

bring water. 

think what can go wrong  and how to deal.

make friends.  goes for people that can give you contracts,  but also anyone else that can get you close to the mark,  or maybe even help out with the cleaning..

learn how to clean.

zip ties,  duct tape,  wd40,  multi tool.. just in case you need.

have a song in your heart.

do not become someone’s nemessis!

think where to stash yourself,  and the money.

no bond girls!

no drinking or smoking on the job. 

coffee!!!

get plenty of rest. hydrate.

snacks.  high energy,  but consider weather conditions.  a runny snickers bar will be a distraction. also no crinckly packs. 

if you can’t do something from afar,  and you must come close,  think of dogs,  goats and sharks with lasers.

good comfy shoes.  make sure they don’t stand out though..

learn of mind games to pass the time.  example:write hikus about mayonnaise.  just don’t count the syllables with your fingers like a newbie.

beware of romans bearing gifts.  don’t take jobs you won’t come back from.

there is no place like home.  always separate business from normal life.  don’t use home as alibi.  it invariably fails.

comfortable gloves.  hair net.

go potty before you go.  I’m not stopping the car again!!

dont expect miracles. life is not a computer game or a movie. a gun shot becomes sceptic very quickly, a dusty rifle jams, the pack of black widows you set in the mark just ate each other. a good assassin learns to deal with frustration, anxiety and stress. he also thinks things through.

dont overthink things. think of why that roadrunner never gets eaten...

have fun. treat the job as a series of complex games. the planning part is a puzzle, the execution a very elaborate game of tag. and who doesnt like tag?