finding steady footing
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return / noun
an act of coming or going back to a place or activity
The door behind me closes with a low rustle, and I gaze at the man behind the counter that gives me both a funny and an amused expression as he looks up from his newspaper, the light of the dim lamps reflecting in his 90′s old-school glasses; square, see-through at the bottom and with a dark frame on top. I give him a small smile. My ex-boss was actually a very handsome man, in that warm, rough, lumberjack kind of way. Which I never really mentioned, not wanting to boast his already quite a colorful ego. But that had more to with him thinking he was usually right about most subjects that he spoke of, while people were trying to prove him wrong - which usually lasted in long hour conversations by the side of his bar. I watch as his lips purse, a definite sign that he was trying not to laugh out with a pleasing, heavy bass that often filled the entire room with vibrations.
Elle, you look... decent. What happened and why did they abduct you?
I gaze at him for a moment.
Believe me, you do not want to get into an argument with me today.
Alright, what can I do for you then?
I need a job.
Ah yes, the thing that we talked about it the last time around.
True, and I’m here to tell you I wasn’t joking, buzzed on my third coke of the night, and people shamelessly performing karaoke.
And you were absolutely serious about it? Three shifts a week for starters before you feel better, and more on your feet?
Yes.
I say simply and sit comfortably on the high stool in front of the bar. Taking off the rediculous jacket and scarf, turning up the sleeves of my pretty sweater and undoing my hair, shaking my head while I do so.
Better?
Much, thank you. So, how about that job?
We will make some arrangments for it. But for now, how do you feel about making an easy $50?
My stare turns amused.
Hmm, it depends. But keep going.
Carl is out this afternoon, running errands, taking care of the supplies and so on. And to be honest, I need some help with the kitchen and cleaning up, since Estelle won’t be coming in until the evening, and Katy is there all alone. I’m behind the bar and managing it fine, but I’m sure the girl would do good with some help. So if you have 2 hours to spare right now, that would really work for me.
My head tilts to the side as I look at him for a moment, processing the information, a dark smile suddenly lighting up my features.
Phil, you know me. I have no problem rolling up my sleeves and working for my money on the spot. But let’s face it, times are changing and everything costs more... so, if you will make it $75 for those couple of hours, you will have yourself a deal.
He gazes at me slowly from behind his glasses, then nods.
Fine, at least I know that you won’t break anything that I will have to replace later, again.
He will get there. We all had to start somehow. Besides, it’s going out of his paycheck. He will just have to learn it the hard way when he checks his credit card status.
He gets paid by check, and for now, I have only had expenses because of him.
I shake my head.
Don’t be such an old grouch. Carl will get the hang of it soon, it’s been only a bit over a week that he’s working here.
Is that any way to talk to your boss, Elle?
Oh, so I got the job, good.
He glares at me disapprovingly but still smiles warmly at the end.
Alright, now, give me my coke and an umbrella before I will start to slave for you without any rest, in these ungodly conditions.
I stretch out the last words just for him, my voice that of pure torment.
Always said you should have gone for a drama major, Elle.
No, boss. They would ruin me completely and I would be no good for you.
My lips spread into a charming smile while he keeps shaking his head at me. I grab the glass that he slides my way and quickly drink the bigger part of it, taking the rest with me.
Oh, one more thing. If I’m not back by the time Carl comes back, that means I stole the remainings of your whiskey supply and you can find me somewhere under the Brooklyn bridge.
Isn’t that a bit far away?
I hear his amused tone behind me.
You’re right, I’m not that ambitious to travel out of state. Look for me two streets down by the burger joint and bring the hot sauce, they always charge me extra for it.
I wave at him and step into the kitchen, watching as the girl inside moves around with speed, trying to do as much as possible in the smallest amount of time. I don’t comment, just nod my head at her and put on a pair of rubber gloves and start to wash the dishes, taking extra care with anything made of glass to make sure Phil suffers less. The girl is surprised but doesn’t say anything either, the relief very visible on her face. Well, we all needed help sometimes - I think as I proceed with the washing and then start to mop up the floor. After that, I clear unnecessary trash and leftover foods from the countertops, throwing everything into the bin - and then I look at the girl, feeling unusually full of energy, my muscles eager to move. I think I missed the action and the regular exercises that a steady job provided and didn’t even realize it. My gaze moves around the kitchen and then back at Katy.
Anything else you need help with?
Her eyes scan the area, as her brain tries to calculate the things she still has to do and prepare before the other woman which is the cook here, comes back.
How are you at dicing?
Vegetables and all the delicacies for the drinks?
She nods, hands already moving, not wanting to waste any more time.
I’m excellent at it, I still have all my fingers.
I watch the girl, waiting for some amused reaction but instead, there is just a lot of organized yet stressed chaos.
Katy?
She looks up at me, her fast hands already preparing meat and fish for later.
You worry too much. Even if I wasn’t here, you would have been just fine. Well, maybe more sweating out your clothes... but trust me when I say, we will wrap this up with time to spare before Estelle will even set her lovely foot in this joint again.
It’s the first time the girl manages to smile and I take it. Then I grab a knife with confidence and smile back.
Ten fingers are my base, right?
I start to chop some carrots and different colored paprikas, also focusing on such things as fresh herbs, or pieces of lemon and limes for drinks and cocktails, using different types of blades. All the while the time flies by surprisingly fast. The two hours that I spend there and an extra hour, making sure everything is in order moving almost too quickly for my liking. Eventually, I leave the bar with an additional $35 over what I was promised and a six-pack of coke dangling from my hand. “Health benefits” as I said to Phil while grabbing the goods on my way out. He didn’t seem too bothered by it, probably just happy that I laid off the booze and didn’t take a 10-year-old Scotch with me, hugging it to my chest with tender affection.
_____
Some time later, my feet move rhythmically against the linoleum floors, entering the hospital, and heading straight to the reception desk. A small smile spreading on my face as I put the six-pack on the counter, remove two cans and push the rest forward, putting the remaining ones in my bag. My mood is so good that even the buzzing in my head seems to be currently muted. Though I still feel it, treating to wake up properly soon.
For my ladies here. Don’t drink it all at once.
My gaze follows Susan’s eyebrow as it lifts slowly, her expression amused.
Why not all of those while you’re at it? Don’t you value your women more?
Susan, darling. Don’t be jealous, I thought your husband took care of your needs when it comes to sugar... No, no, don’t say anything, save your energy for others more worthy than me. Besides, I said all my ladies, not my harem. The thing that’s between my humble self and the female staff is more subtle, like a book club but after dark, with a little lace.
My voice drips of warm honey as I sent her a deep, long stare and she snorts, not being able to stop herself.
One of these days, Eleonore. One of these days.
You will live in bigamy with me, I know. For now, that’s all the sugar high you’re getting. I need my own energizer right now.
I gaze at her lifting an eyebrow, and she just shakes her head.
He should be having his break in about an hour, stalk him then. For now, he’s busy.
My hands raise in the air, expression imitating deep offense.
Now, now, Susan. I might have many issues, but I do respect that men’s work and my stalking tactics remain impeccable and civilized. Despite the popular opinions flying around town, which I spread myself for much needed peace.
The main nurse just waves me off, done with the little show for today. My shoulders shrug in a demonstrative way. I had other women to see today, that would brush me off much better than she did - lips stretching out in a smile, I look for a room that I haven’t visited in a while, my mind already thinking of possible outcomes. Hopefully, her daughter won’t be around, I preferred more private gatherings. Two was enough for me. After a couple of minutes, I slip into a quiet room and sit down on a nearby chair, watching her chest rise and fall slowly.
I don’t think I have time for reading now, it’s been a very long day and this body might be demanding some rest. I’m not the person that I used to be, you know. My party animal days might be coming to an end.
I say with a light smile, talking more to myself since she’s sleeping, but at the same time knowing she hears me somehow. Her eyes open and my smiles turns more genuine.
I got my old job back, just part-time but it’s still something.
She nods and yawns, slowly falling back to sleep, but this time it seems more peaceful as if just my presence worked well for her. I had no way of knowing if that was true but I liked to think that it was. It made me feel needed and wanted, helpful to someone that I felt didn’t judge me. My gaze falls on the little table by her bed and I pick up the book I knew too well by now, the yellow cover feeling like comfort to me. Something familiar. Words start to flow as I decide that there were a couple of minutes to spare. Besides, you find time for the people you care for, the ones that are worth the trouble. No rush. And as the Bennet family starts to contain my thoughts, my mind slows down and relaxes. It feels nice, soothing.
Time passes and I start to feel a bit sleepy, head getting heavy and drifting forward. I find myself in a half state, somewhere between being awake and almost asleep. In between worlds. The book slips to my lap, and suddenly I jerk awake for a second, disoriented, moving closer to Clare and putting my hand on top of hers. Feeling my mind drift away after the initial confusion. My eyelids get heavier while a strange warmth seems to radiate from my hand to hers - a long yawn escaping my mouth as I shift forward, laying on the side of the bed with the top half of my body, a part of my brain that’s still awake registering the texture of the covers, and the fact that I shiver even thought the air in the room is warm and stuffy.
For a while, nothing happens but then unfamiliar pictures start to fill my mind... a little girl wrapped around in a mother’s tender embrace... the feel of a man’s rough hands touching an impressive baby bump. Callus yet gentle fingers of a hard-working man, a father of a family... a yellow bike laying on the ground as a scraped knee gets looked after... wedding rings slipped on eager fingers... a brown sweater laid against an old wooden chair... dirt being thrown into the ground. I jolt up, heart pounding like crazy, a hand holding my shoulder while I try not to scream.
Nora, what are you doing here? Did you actually fall asleep? You didn’t tell me you were coming over.
Charlie whispers almost into my ear as I swallow hard, making an enormous effort to block the images in my head, the pictures still so fresh under my cells and wild heartbeats. Sinking into me, somehow becoming permanent. My head shakes as I do everything that I can to think of something else. That’s when the words blur out of me without a second thought; the first thing that pops into my head.
Phil gave me my job again. It’s just half time and I need extra money to pay my bills.
His expression is a bit confused at first, eyelids blinking a lot.
Alright. That’s...
I need to earn my living, Charlie. Just like any other poor soul on this planet. Don’t fight me on this.
Nora, I’m not. It’s just that.. are you sure this is a good idea?
It’s just three night shifts a week. I thought it through. After work, I will come over to the hospital and recharge in the early morning. If you have different hours, then I will come to you before I start to work. This will work out just fine. Trust me, we all need money.
I say, rambling, the visions from my dream seeming to fade a bit, but my breathing still seems to be off. He watches me slowly, his gaze both suspicious and concerned. I see him struggle to regain some composure, battling to make his facial expressions more neutral.
Fine, if that’s what you want. If you think you can handle it.
He speaks slowly as if allowing me to back out. I shake my head and smile with confidence.
I can handle this.
He nods, taking it all in.
Alright. But if anything goes wrong...
I will stop.
Okay. Now, let’s leave Mrs. Wilson, so she can sleep without any disturbance.
My stare turns a bit sheepish and I nod.
No problem. This will give you an opportunity to feed me and take care of all of my earthly needs.
He smiles and leads me out of the room as if making sure I wouldn’t get lost somewhere again on the way. The hand that he has on my back slowly slides down to my arm and then to my wrist, my mind relaxing as the warmth slowly slips in. For a moment his fingers wrap around mine as he squeezed them reassuringly. I don’t’ look up at him, but smile as we head to the cafeteria. I let go of him and try not to laugh in public as he shoves me lightly like a little kid. I think he was happy and relieved that for now, things got a bit back to normal after all the chaos of the last few days. And trust me, I was just as relieved as he was.
_____
https://theprose.com/post/230936/with-all-my-senses (chapter 1 )
Previous 3 chapters :
23. https://theprose.com/post/308900/nerves-in-counting
24. https://theprose.com/post/318322/measured-truths-approach
25. https://theprose.com/post/326382/the-ones-that-shape-us
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