Rings off.

He said, she said.

But mostly she said. "I'm out," she emphatically stated. She felt controlled by a narcissist, so she left.

She hacked into his AT&T account, and found multiple phone calls and texts from an ex-girlfriend and another woman he had neglected to tell her about.

She couldn't trust him.

So she left.

While separated, he cheated. She stood there in their now-defiled living room, hearing the news fall fresh on her fragile ears, stone cold black shiny gun in her hand, and put it up to her head. She prayed, "God forgive me for what I'm about to do. Take me home."

Before she pulled the trigger, he called, then sent his fellow cop coworkers over to ensure her safety.

After that, she would never be the same.

He cheated, she cheated.

But mostly she cheated. A guy here, two guys there, multiple guys over there. She couldn't stop. She was addicted to the attention from men and she wanted to be degraded. She would suck dicks without question. She would let unfamiliar cocks inside her. And every time, she'd bleed.

Sex was never pleasurable for her. Not with her husband, not with anyone else.

"Why can't I stop?" she'd ask her best friend. "I'm destroying myself. And my marriage."

She was a wreck. Her friend would comfort and encourage, but had difficulty calling her friend out in a blunt and harsh way.

Maybe that was a mistake. Because she got worse. Sexual degradation, drinking, weed. Rinse, wash, repeat.

Angry, hurt phone calls between her and her husband. Once or twice a week. Her remorse was a very real thing, and she'd admit everything to him. He'd swear he loved her, but would call her a whore and magnify her transgressions. He swore she was holding further sins in, despite the obvious fact that she was initiating her fuck-ups with him on a regular basis. If she'd wanted to lie, she wouldn't have given him the information so readily. He put himself on a holy pedestal, despite defiling their marriage bed with a fellow female cop he worked with.

"I feel like you are Gomer in the Old Testament story of Hosea and Gomer. Am I supposed to forgive you and welcome you, as a whore, back into my life? Stay married to you despite your countless transgressions?"

Irreconcilable.

"But I made a vow in front of God."

Irreconcilable.

"But God can make something good out of evil."

Irreconcilable.

"God can redeem this marriage!"

Irreconcilable.

"That's what God does!"

Irreconcilable.

Sometimes the lies we convince ourselves of tell a worse truth. An uglier truth of the utterly despicable parts of our humanity. The parts we shun.

It's the "truth" that we can create God in our own image and thus limit Him when we think we're being pious and correct in our misguided assertions. Our adamant ideas and strongly held beliefs that He can do great things ironically limit Him when even God is saying...

"Irreconcilable."