my love story as a fairy tale
Come now, gather around...
I’ll tell you a saddening tale
Please, leave not behind your handkerchief...
It may keep you well.
- -
Once upon a time,
In a kingdom far away
There lived a prince and his knight
Together in the light
The knight, valiant and
Kind and brave
The prince from the darkness
She had saved
But the love was not the same
The prince found a woman far away
And to her kingdom he flew away
He broke her heart that very day
She was saddened for a while..
Then the knight, weak and sore
Stashed her shield and sheathed her sword
Then to the stars she swore
Not another word...
If she were to fall in love again
She would whisper her confessions to the wind
All the love letters she'll never send
While her broken heart mends.
- -
A song from far away
Resonating in her heart
Filling the space that set them apart
I wish you’d never let me go
Just two words will please me so
Never again, nevermore
Will I hear your precious words
Paris Eulogy
Oil and water have not reconciled
since the dawn of chemistry's birth
neither can, nor will
so too is true
of those that do violence
and live by the sword
they will die by the same means
the Paris Event
indescriminate violence
against the unsuspecting innocent
who simply want to do their business
of living
who want to enjoy Life
who want to live and let live
who bless the world with their love
of humanity
those that live by violence and
worship its means
to an end
of their sinister,
anti-humanity goal
murder of humanity
will not, can never
justify, reconcile,
their horrific actions
with those of the civilized world
the rule of law
benevolent
freedom
or
the rule of law
marshall
totalitarianism
"free democracies
or free KGB"
Gandhi, King, Jesus and
many others like you and me
know that
love and hate can never mix
hate can never reconcile,
only love's persuasion
of hate
maybe
love can mix where there is hate
God is real
he is spirit
he is love
"Love thy neighbor as thyself"
in memory of those
for those who were murdered in Paris
my condolences to
their families, friends
and those worldwide
who believe that love
and only love
can bridge differences
In the one hand:
The good times
The adventures
The butterflies in my stomach
The "I love you"s
The iridescent greeny blue-grey of your eyes
In the other hand:
The bad times
The endless waiting
The rocks in my stomach
The "Please leave your message after the tone"s
The effort from me (100% at least, and glad to have it, I can't tell if you are)
The not-so-iridescent greeny blue-grey of my soul
Both hands can hold what they have
But of the two only one ever need grip tighter at any given time
And more and more it is the first hand that is exhausted from holding tight
So as not to lose what it has
So how on earth am I supposed to reconcile
How you make me feel
With
How you make me feel?
Rings off.
He said, she said.
But mostly she said. "I'm out," she emphatically stated. She felt controlled by a narcissist, so she left.
She hacked into his AT&T account, and found multiple phone calls and texts from an ex-girlfriend and another woman he had neglected to tell her about.
She couldn't trust him.
So she left.
While separated, he cheated. She stood there in their now-defiled living room, hearing the news fall fresh on her fragile ears, stone cold black shiny gun in her hand, and put it up to her head. She prayed, "God forgive me for what I'm about to do. Take me home."
Before she pulled the trigger, he called, then sent his fellow cop coworkers over to ensure her safety.
After that, she would never be the same.
He cheated, she cheated.
But mostly she cheated. A guy here, two guys there, multiple guys over there. She couldn't stop. She was addicted to the attention from men and she wanted to be degraded. She would suck dicks without question. She would let unfamiliar cocks inside her. And every time, she'd bleed.
Sex was never pleasurable for her. Not with her husband, not with anyone else.
"Why can't I stop?" she'd ask her best friend. "I'm destroying myself. And my marriage."
She was a wreck. Her friend would comfort and encourage, but had difficulty calling her friend out in a blunt and harsh way.
Maybe that was a mistake. Because she got worse. Sexual degradation, drinking, weed. Rinse, wash, repeat.
Angry, hurt phone calls between her and her husband. Once or twice a week. Her remorse was a very real thing, and she'd admit everything to him. He'd swear he loved her, but would call her a whore and magnify her transgressions. He swore she was holding further sins in, despite the obvious fact that she was initiating her fuck-ups with him on a regular basis. If she'd wanted to lie, she wouldn't have given him the information so readily. He put himself on a holy pedestal, despite defiling their marriage bed with a fellow female cop he worked with.
"I feel like you are Gomer in the Old Testament story of Hosea and Gomer. Am I supposed to forgive you and welcome you, as a whore, back into my life? Stay married to you despite your countless transgressions?"
Irreconcilable.
"But I made a vow in front of God."
Irreconcilable.
"But God can make something good out of evil."
Irreconcilable.
"God can redeem this marriage!"
Irreconcilable.
"That's what God does!"
Irreconcilable.
Sometimes the lies we convince ourselves of tell a worse truth. An uglier truth of the utterly despicable parts of our humanity. The parts we shun.
It's the "truth" that we can create God in our own image and thus limit Him when we think we're being pious and correct in our misguided assertions. Our adamant ideas and strongly held beliefs that He can do great things ironically limit Him when even God is saying...
"Irreconcilable."