Take the Pressure off Craigslist Dating
Love yourself first. Whether you’re a fan or not, the thing that matters most is the quality of your relationships, not some card or gift. And your most important relationship is
with yourself.
If you’re dating someone on Craiglist now, great; I’ll get to you in a minute.
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If you’re NOT dating anyone right now, you certainly have at least one wonderful person in your life. And I mean you. Today, treat yourself as a treasure that’s yet to be discovered. Imagine how the most desirable guy in the world would treat you and treat yourself that way.
This is important. When you make a habit of treating yourself like a treasure yet to be discovered, men pick up on it. You become a magnet for men on Craigslist who want a woman they can treasure.
It happened to me.
Buy yourself something special (just don’t go into debt). Savor food you love to eat. Grab a fun friend (note that I said ‘fun friend;’ avoid complainers like the swine flu). Rent a good movie, pop some corn, and have a cocktail.
Have fun!
If you ARE in a relationship, don’t get caught up in the hype. Some men are into Valentine’s Day, and some don’t get it at all (I don’t really like it myself. My feeling is, if you love somebody, you should show them every day, not just on Valentine’s Day). So, if the guy doesn’t come bearing extravagant gifts, be open to the possibility that he thinks Valentine’s Day is the over-hyped commercial holiday I do.
(Now, if he forgets your birthday, that’s another story.)
Your boyfriend’s married friend is likely looking to your BF as some kind of relief. A smart person would have known to lie when you asked if she and he were dancing closely. She didn’t. It’s possible that she was the one who was lying all along or that she just saw the way they danced as being far more intimate than he did. She wants his attention for herself, most likely. She’s trying to drive a wedge between you two so that she can have the majority of his focus. This is a problem I’ve had to tackle with my aforementioned friendship. He changes the subject when I bring up the men I date and is otherwise dismissive of various issues that I discuss that concern them. No. Wrong. Don’t do that. I see what he’s doing. He doesn’t. I’m sure if you confronted your guy’s married friend, she’d say you were crazy. She’s living in the land of denial, not wanting to admit that there are probably some problems in her marriage that need fixing.
I think the first step you need to take is discuss this relationship with your boyfriend and ask him to break ties with this woman. It would be one thing if she were showing respect for your relationship. Seeing as though she is disrespecting her own marriage, I doubt she’ll ever show you the deference that you deserve. What you need to understand before you do that is that he could and probably will lie to you about distancing himself from her. You might never even know that she’s still in his life. So if you stay with him, you’re going to have to trust him that he either is telling the truth and no longer has dealings with her or is still friends with her but will never cross that line.