SHARDS TO THE WIND

Frustration is tearing me apart in little jagged pieces. My inner being is becoming eroded into nothingness as the mind boggling force whirls around and around my head. Even though I am devastated as I try to capture it, it keeps slipping through my fingers, like copious water seeping through the dry earth. Why, oh why, does it keep eluding me? I know in my very center that it belongs to me. Why can’t I see it and grasp it to my inner soul? Where has it gone? Please come back to me or did I ever have it in the first place?

Did it assume its looming presence when I was a small child or was it present in the womb? Are my jumbled feelings and tormented thoughts learned or genetic? I wonder whether I suffered its lack recently or perhaps a long time ago. I inhale my belief that it creeps in intermittently causing the loss to arise when I need its opposite the most. What is it that is tormenting me in little spurts and fractional debris? I ask myself questions until the answer floats through the air to my waiting essence. Lack of self-confidence is ripping me apart and throwing the shards to the wind.