Toilet paper

“The Romans would use a communial sponge which soaked in a pool of chemicals to clean their asses,” my husband, the history major said.

”The idea of using the same sponge as a number of people for cleaning my butt is just gross,” I called out.

My father-in-law, Tim, chimed in, “What about a bidet? We could buy one off Amazon.”

“I am not having cold water shoot up my ass, thank you,” Maritza lit.

”We can buy one with a heated setting and even a dryer, if you’re willing to spend more money,” I said.

“Hmm. I just don’t know how I feel about it. Let’s just cut back on how much toilet paper we’re using. My sister says she only uses two squares to wipe her ass. And then she folds it and uses the other side too!” Maritza declared.

We all made faces of disgust and laughed as we unloaded the groceries and put them away as usual. Except my mother-in-law, already the germaphobe before the pandemic, instructed her husband to throw away all the bags that entered the house and clean the surfaces where any bag lay upon the counter.

”I saw some doctor on the news explain how to properly bring in groceries safely,” she explained.

It struck me as an odd juxtaposition to be carrying on laughing and putting away groceries like we always did when it felt like the world had altered so suddenly with the outbreak of the coronavirus.

Toilet paper may seem an important resource, and sure, keeping yourself hygienic is an important part of wellness. However, it occured to me that my family was the most precious of resources. I’m not going through this alone because I have them to joke and laugh with. I only wish other families were as lucky.