“Car Problems are the Least of my Worries” (Chapter 2)

She can’t go back now. She has been trying to hide this for years. She hasn’t cried for years. She hasn’t done anything wrong for so long and now she has shown her reality, her deep insides to a complete stranger. The most popular, richest, most handsome boy in the school has seen her sob. 

They're now sitting across from each other at his inexplicably long dining room table. He's hurt by her distancing, but wisely chooses not to make an issue of it. She sits, freshly showered, wearing her now dried and warm clothing, fresh from the laundry room. She has a blanket wrapped around her, and she holds it to her nose. She doesn't feel like talking. She doesn't feel like admitting to herself, the seemingly horrible damage she has done.

Many, many, many, many people want to say that a highschool experience was not a big deal and many of their issues are now non-issues in adulthood, but this is so very false, and she knows this. Highschool introduces an heirarchy to all of these unsteady, not ready children. They are shoved and forced into this building with incredibly evil people who seem harmless. They're the same age?

What harm could they do?

Does the girl with the scars on her arms and legs answer the question?

Does the boy skipping school because he is being leered at for his poor Walmart brand clothing answer the question?

Does the homeless girl who sleeps with men for money for food and shelter and has people gleefully taunt and ask her for "favors" in the hallway answer the question?

Does the teenager who doesn't know who they are and gets constantly dead-named and made fun of about their body answer the question?

Does the fat girl who gets snorted at who also endures the utmost humiliation for breaking a desk answer the question?

Does the superintendant's daughter who gave a blow-job to a dog, and her friends took the video, but no one got in trouble answer the question?

Does the popular boy who hit and almost killed someone with his car late at night while driving both high and drunk with absolutely nothing but a warning answer the question?

Does the girl with special needs who is constantly taunted by the rich group, being recorded by their phones and laughing becuase they're "better" than this wonderful, kind, harmless, loving girl answer the question?

Does the black boy who was told "You smell, you dirty nigger" and "Go back to your country" and he ends up shooting himself in his head, swallowing the pain, and suffering, and the bullet answer your FUCKING QUESTION?

And people who read her story think that she will be okay after this.

No.

Highschool is brutal, people are evil. People believe a girl telling her story about a possible cliché romance between the nerdy girl and the most popular boy is childish, overdone, and dry. When in reality, no one was truly honest about this experience, or they were the ones who were never affected by these horrible things.

She is ruined. He is going to tell everyone. That's just who he is. She doesn't know why the fuck she did what she did, and she is absolutely shutting down. She's going to have to move schools. She's going to have to find a way to get through this, because he will tell everyone her weakness. He will humiliate her for status. He will let her down.

There is no way around it.

This is highschool.

This is why car problems are the least of her worries.