Behind tears

The fact that you didn’t want to live anymore

-Couldn’t find the joy in life

Didn’t make me want to cry…

Living without you did

Can you understand all the reasons why?

Twirling you in circles through the air while your laughter strangled the both of us into adoration

Tickling you to get you to smile for the picture in which we both wore red

I still have it framed to this day

Laughing as you sang to the Ting Tings:

“Shut up and Let me go!” buckled in the backseat on the way to pre-school.

Your fear of snails always cracked me up

And made me your protector always

(It’s a fact I’ve eaten escargot, no snail would ever harm you my darling daughter,

As long as I exist in your world)

Even all the crazy moments

no matter how crass

seemed like a dream

because you were in those moments

alive and thriving with me

just you and me against the world

my best friend and legacy

I’d always want you to be

Here even when I have gone

So there is something left of me

Because the best of me is in you

You are the very drum my heart beats to

There is no other rhythm to carry my song

And you are as strong as you are resilient.

To this life

To this world

You belong

Planted by the hands of God

To behold

I still see you blowing the dandelion wisher

At the age of three

So mesmerized by its complexity

I saw all the wonder and delight in your eyes

Life is still unfurling in your eyes

And there is still more magic to experience in this life

You are my lifeline

I pray you flourish

I pray you shine

But most of all I pray you always know

How much I truly love you and

How proud of you I am!