An Unexpected Tale of Toes & Woes

Who makes knives that look like plastic?

(Someone smart—perhaps sarcastic?)

As I cut my fingers off …

Keeping me from playing golf.

Should I scream or should I sue?

Please tell me what I should do!

Who makes knives that look like plastic?

That’s a move that’s much too drastic—

As my fingers start to bleed

Stopping that, is what I need.

Please get me a tourniquet—

Stop the bleeding really quick!

Who makes knives that look like plastic?

Someone sharp and too bombastic.

Now I can’t count more than two—

Unless I take off both my shoes.

That's why I’m feelin’ really dumb.

Thank God, I’ve got both my thumbs.

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