pinky promises

i spent my entire childhood sitting by the curbside wistfully looking at the empty alleyway waiting and waiting and waiting without end a flame of hope igniting in my chest every morning flickering throughout every day and extinguishing every night over and over and over again innocence blinding me from the cold truth as my stubborn heart believed in you in us in a family in love

i remember your soft lullabies as you soothed me to sleep each night promising me that there are no monsters under my bed or hiding in the closet and that as long as the sun rises the next day that the nightmares will not do me harm and i remember your warm hugs which seemed to light up my dark lonely world filling the hole in my heart with love hope faith friendship and i remember your words to me as i sat on that very curbside and you turned and walked down the empty alleyway not once looking back to blow kiss me goodbye like you usually do when you go to the grocery store or to work or to the park or just about anywhere

im coming back for you soon i promise pinky promise

i tremble under the covers of my bed each night scared of the monsters under my bed and hiding in the closet and the nightmares which you said would never hurt me as long as the sun rises the next day because you are my sun and knowing that you will no longer wrap your arms around me to wake me up makes the nightmares all the more horrifying and i dont let anybody near me much less hug me now leaving me sulking in the shadows of my dark lonely world the hole in my heart getting deeper and deeper and deeper with each passing day void of love hope faith friendship and i still treasure the words you told me when you left me that day because they were the last words you told me and will be until you come walking down this empty alleyway and hug me again

promises cant be broken especially pinky promises thats what my young soul told me every time the slightest wisp of a thought occurred that maybe just maybe you would never come back and i glued my bottom to the curbside and waited and waited and waited without end a flame of hope igniting in my chest every morning flickering throughout every day and extinguishing every night over and over and over again innocence blinding me from the cold truth as my stubborn heart believed in you in us in a family in love

i spent my entire childhood sitting by the curbside and i still do the flame of hope in my chest igniting smaller and smaller with each day but still there because i know i know i know that one day youll come back

you have to

you pinky promised to