a chasing of light
the light had broken
the very same person it fixed
i knew i wasn’t supposed to be here
but i didn’t belong anywhere else
a deserted rooftop
the world falling asleep
loneliness: the thought of you next to me
cold wind torn out pieces of a heart
and i thought i could catch a wisp
the scent of your perfume
that i get drunk on every time
as the evanescent city lights
turned off one after another
my existence like a polaroid in reverse
saturated colors turned into blanks
every moment was closer to vanishing
leaving with nowhere to go to
and no one to become
all i could hear was silence within me
perhaps i had scattered myself
in hopes of someday
having a body you never touched
but deep down i knew of a confession:
even if i had a thousand lifetimes
meeting you made this one
the one i had been waiting for
a part of me desperately wanted someone
to notice i had been gone for a long time
nothing more than for someone to ask:
where are you? tonight
seeking that answer relentlessly
i wish i knew but lost it when i met you
as my body became a glass casket
and a darkness too familiar
the whole of me selfishly wanted you
and only you to be here
the last and only wish: loving you until the end
two people one faultless and the other broken
under the same faded sky i was lost
in a world you could’ve entered but it’s over
so before i leave and the story ends
one last question that begs for an answer
who are you? you’re all i care about
i let go and an empty casket
fell to the cold concrete ground
crushed into a million pieces
but even then it didn’t belong anywhere
or to anyone for darkness was a burden
my hand scraped from picking up fragments
of a heart that tried not to love so deeply
but simply couldn’t do it
was this the ending you hoped for?
then a while later i had lost count
of how long has passed
for time had ceased to exist
in the world you had the chance to save
but shattered it without knowing
you were the light
in the eternal abyss of darkness
a while later i thought i heard
cutting through the night-
sirens
i woke up
and i didn’t remember anything
but that i was falling
like the dream everyone has
like the feeling everyone knows
i fell too fast and crashed too hard
but it wasn’t from somewhere high
i’m looking at you as i write this
if only you knew i was falling for you
- deathetix