A New Journey

As someone who's overcome depression what you need is a gameplan.

Depression is created from ones environment, by which I mean people and interacting with them. From there you are the one who helps maintain it as event after event piles on.

It's possible you've experienced emotional abondonment where you don't tell your family how you feel or dopn't trust them. I'm certain your parents have their own traumas or limitations they are repeating with you. you can analyze or think of how they have been hurt and how it reflects on you.

The best way is to think of the times you've felt hurt and recognize your feelings when they hurt your emotions by dismissing them or something. From there you can categorize and write down what has happened to you in your life. you're still young so it should be relatively easier to remember.

From there you should also take notice of what media you are consuming. If it only makes you feel bad without making a way to improve your feelings then get rid of it. Your emotions are your guide to getting better. Listen to your body.

This is to take preventative measures that way yo won't feel so bad. From there you have to look for things that help you with your dreams. Learn about what makes a healthy community. By helping yourself you will learn what it feels to be healthy.

Depression is very taxing so I assume you only handle what's in front of you instead of thinking of alternatives to what can be done. Correct me if I'm wrong.

You could also deal with things that upset your parents or talk to them to make a healthier environment. If the people that make you upset are happy they are less likely to lash out at you. Only do this if it's safe enough to do so. There is also porbably a hierarchy in your family. Notice who is in charge and who is the one that lashes out the most. Usually it's the mom lashing out because the dad is insensitive. The dad is usually more passive aggressive, etc. You know your situation best.

Now you need to rest. You are very likely overwhelmed. Try to take on a mindless task or soemthing to think of ways to improve your situation. you can analyze a show or something because your mind is already used to overthinking and will require constant stimulation. If possible exercise while you think and make sure to pick music that won't put you in a negative mood. Music usually helps because its deals directly with modd in mood movies. you could even go through the songs to figure out how they make you feel.

Analyze yourself and go from there to improve yourself.

I didn't realize how depression affected me until I started spiraling out of control. I started procrastinating to the point I didn't even have enough energy to eat. You're going to need to be brave. Strengthen your mind to resolve this. But first you need to decide to live. If you give yourself the option of death you won't get better. Eliminate that option completely. Make a bet with yourself or soemthing I don't care just don't keep that as a option anymore.