Dear God, I have some questions...

Dear God,

I have some questions...

Are you getting this? Do you hear me? Are you even listening? Are you watching with disdain as I write this for a letter-writing competition instead of reaching out to you in prayer? If the universe is infinite and you supposedly created the universe... are you off listening to the prayers of some other life-inhabiting planet while we suffer? Do you just ignore us? Or is it an "I am everywhere at once" kind of thing? 

Did you cause corona because you thought we deserved it? Or do you have every global disaster scheduled like on my mom's planner? When you supposedly created the universe, is this what you had in mind for us? Just occasionally punishing the innocent in hopes of getting the ignorant to make smarter, more empathetic decisions?

Did you just create us and leave us alone to our devices as you watched us destroy ourselves from the inside out? Or did you consciously let this happen? No, not let this happen. That's not what I wanna know. I wanna know if you made this happen. If you are as great as they say, why don't you punish those who deserve to be punished? 

What's the deal with the whole "lord's name in vain" thing? Does it really irk you all that much when people say "Oh my god" or "Jesus Christ!"? Forgive me but I don't see the problem with it. 

Why did you supposedly sacrifice your son for us? Did he volunteer to die on the cross? Or did you force him to do it with a wave of your all-powerful arm? Do you think he resents you for it? No, right? Well, you'd be wrong because all children hate their parents at one point or another.

In reference to the "You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination." line... Do you just not like gay people? What's the deal with that? I'm asking you specifically because there's no way you had nothing to do with the writing of the goddamn bible. (Did you get offended by that "goddamn"? Not that I care, I just want answers.)

How come people who don't believe in you aren't allowed to go to heaven? Why should the people who refuse to have blind faith in you suffer eternal damnation? And what about the people who just have different religions? Do you consider them to believe in you, but just in multiple forms? 

Why is my sibling such a dick? Did you make them like that on purpose? They take medication for their depression and bipolar disorder so why are they still a dick? In fact, why is my whole family just a family of dicks? Mommy's a dick, Devin's a dick, Samuel's a dick, Cal's a dick, I'm a dick. The only one who isn't a dick is Daddy. Is that because you figured he's been through enough? After his rough childhood, you decided not to torture him even more. Do you curse people with bad personalities or is that just a part of being human?

Do you love me? Let me rephrase that: Do you love humanity? Are you as compassionate as they say? Are all the bad things that happen to us because of free will? Or is it because you love tormenting us?

Why do you want to be worshipped? Aren't you supposed to be impartial and benevolent? Why would you crave (you hear me right, crave) for people to literally worship you? That seems like such a humane thing to do. To be self-centered and insecure. "I created you, you should be thankful. If you don't obey my every command then you should be tortured for eternity." Is that the thought process you've had all these billions of years after creating the universe?

Also (last question, I swear) why are people tortured - or blessed - for their infinite lives based on things they did and decisions they made in their finite lives? Doesn't that seem a bit... cruel to you?

Sincerely,

An ex-Christian who never paid attention during bible study anyway. 

P.S. If you do actually exist and you're watching me write this letter, why are you choosing not to answer me?

~~~

Sidenote: I've got nothing against Christian people btw.