moonlight
its 3am and i still think about you all the time
outside my window the moonlight falls softly
addicted to the way you smiled like
a mystical snowflake before it melts
how you broke apart like i’ve been
every night for the past three years
your name tasted like glass
etched onto the stone wall
all i could see was you and the times leading up to that night
under the neon lights and ferris wheel the high i’ll forever chase
i remember the world flashing from blue to green
glow sticks and lit up signs and your leather jacket
i got lost in your smile the way others were lost
in tasteless drinks and washed up music just so
we couldn’t hear our dying heartbeats slowing down
but when i looked at you the world didn’t make a sound
i remember how the afterparty ended
with you sitting across from me
im sorry for the way i looked at you
and everyone leaving without us
i saw you walking towards the ferris wheel
with moonlight on your smile and i thought
about how i wished tonight would last forever
how much it would hurt when you leave
and i thought about your haunting voice
like faraway sunsets and clear blue waves
it really did feel like all these years were leading up
to that one night enchanting in a shattered world
you held my heart for the little pieces of memories
i held my breath for all the things we never said
there were tears in your eyes
as you kneeled down
and wrote a boy’s name in
the gravel with your finger
i leaned against a stone wall
watching you break yourself
and my hands found their way
carving a name onto the wall
fingers covered in cold blood
forgotten how it felt to be alive
blurred between heavenly lines
it never felt so good to fall apart
i engraved a name on the stone wall
your name that has never left my mind
i wonder if you ever saw the crooked letters
when you asked me about the cuts on my hand
i couldn’t give an answer because there’s not
a moment the word wasn’t my whole entire life
if i could go back in time and undo
that night i don’t think i ever would
your name tasted like shadows
remains untouched on the stone wall
ever since that night i haven’t been able to breath
its 4am and i’m sorry i wasn’t enough
- deathetix