Coming to terms
My feelings are a crime, guilty to the first degree
I know it’s wrong, so frequently it’s unhealthy
When I close my eyes, it’s all I need to see
But deep down I know, you’re the eventual death of me
As certain as the leaves that’ll fall from the trees
I don’t have a choice, it’s been issued by lawful decree
Like clockwork, you’re my every day guarantee
This isn’t even sweet, but I’m attracted like a honeybee
I hold in my feelings, refuse to utter a curse
Instead I write them out, in another sappy ass verse
Worst case, I end up in the back of a hearse
Best case, we exchange “for better, for worse”
But the former is likely if we can’t even converse
I lock up around you, even if I rehearse
I only get halfway before I throw it in reverse
I’m undersold and overwhelmed, wish these thoughts would disperse
I’m talking to myself, you don’t hear what I’ve to convey
I wouldn’t dare put my emotions on public display
I know this shit is cheesy, just another weak cliche
Just give me your truth, something I can take away
These feelings are not an act, a facade to portray
I’m as real as moon in the night and the sun in the day
Let’s get lost for a hour, take a drive in my Chevrolet
There’s no pressure, I promise you all the leeway
But this is fantasy, I can tell by your lack of tone
I begged hard and long for you to toss me a bone
No longer going off, you popping up in my phone
We’re wilted and brown, stillborn, not ever to be grown
I’m a fool, took this long to realize and to have known
We never dreamt together, but separately, on our own
For you this is a speed bump, I’ve clearly overblown
I wished you’d used your words, not the sticks or the stones
So I’ll put down my pen, close forever this book
This never ending stalemate, your queen and my rook
I thought I was the pan, maybe I’m just the hook
Your actions speak loudly, not even gifted a look
Maybe you’re right, and that’s all it should’ve took
Seasoned to perfection, but severely undercooked
We were a roaring rapid, but now a babbling brook
And after a hell of a ride, I hope you’re just as shook
In closing I will say, only for you to hear
I’m level, made peace, I won’t conjure another tear
You’ll pioneer a new frontier in your amazing career
My presence, disappear, my writings a souvenir
Leaving nothing to chance, I want my words to be clear
My only fear is they travel right in and out of your ear
As we gear to persevere the second half of the year
I’ll give you the space, let your mind wipe the smear
I won’t come near, wouldn’t dare to interfere
I meant it then, I mean it now, forever sincere
I wish you the best. Whatever direction in life you decide you need to steer.