There is no such thing as ghosts

There is no such thing as ghosts.

I just needed to put that out there. Yeah, sometimes seemingly inexplicable things happen around the house, particularly at night, but I can guarantee you, if you dig deep enough, there is a very rational explanation as to why said thing happened.

Ghosts are not a rational description of events. Ever.

Yeah, the clock goes on and off in the middle of the night occasionally and scares the bejesus out of me. No, there is no ghost getting his jollies jerking me out of a deep sleep. The clock radio is probably 20 years old. I’m sure there’s a short in the wire. I just need to unplug it. Replace it. Easy fix. Not a ghost.

And sometimes, the door creaks open and slams shut. Clearly, there’s a window open. Somewhere in the house. Air waves are interesting like that. It happens. No reason to start talking about ghosts.

Occasionally, you might think you hear voices whispering when there’s no one else in the house. Might be the heat coming up. Or the air conditioning unit. Termites in the wall. Heck, might even be the wind. What it isn’t, is ghosts.

Now, what if you start seeing eyes in the marble in the bathroom or shifting shapes in the living carpet? I’d get your eyes checked. Might have those things they call floaters. What you don’t have? Ghosts.

In conclusion, there is no such thing as ghosts.

There is no such thing as ghosts.

There is no such thing as ghosts.

Maybe by morning, I’ll believe it…at least until tomorrow night.