An Ounce of Reality

When I'm not feeling like myself, I disappear for a bit.

I don't leave a trace of my existence unless I have to,

Hoping that a few people will forget about me.

On the days you don't see a lot of me,

Those are the times that I'm just trying to breathe,

To find a little bit of life in this burnout body of mine.

The sunlight will filter through the worn curtains,

But it doesn't seem to reach me.

The music drifts from my long-discarded earbuds

But I don't register the lyrics, notes, or beat.

I'm numb to anything and everything around me,

Quiet and reduced to nothing but a shadow lingering in the dark.

I'm like that rock you brought home from the beach as a child.

You used to treasure it so much, love every rough and smooth edge.

But now, it stays hidden in the back of your drawer,

Only seeing the light when you decide to bring it out and look at it.

Not for fun, but for the nostalgia that it brings with it,

Crashing down on you like the waves of the sea,

Reminding you of your childhood days.

Reminding you of the times when I was still around.

I've had people tell me to just step forward when I want to retreat,

To smile when I want to frown,

To laugh when I want to cry,

But it's not that easy.

Be patient with me, I'm working on it.

I promise.

But on the days that I disappear, and don't leave a trace,

Leave me to be nothing more than a piece of dust,

Floating through the universe,

Unimportant and alone.

Because that

is how

I

f

e

e

l