The Evil Twin

Do you remember the day that teacher said those words? Do you remember her jesting tone undercut by the power of observation?

"You must be the Evil Twin."

You'd never considered yourself "Evil" before then, but after...

You believed her because you'd been the child of blame for everything, even things you didn't do, simply because you where the troubled one. You believed her and you began your decent into the pit of a living hell.

You made it standard protocol to count objects that could be used as weapons-- even in the Corner Store while you're just picking up milk for your parents.

1) King Size candy bar wrapper and packing tape... more secure suffocation seal than a plastic bag that can be ripped open by teeth...

2) Hot coffee pot...

3) Oh, look at all those cleaning supplies...

4) That plastic strip with the little tabs that hold the bags of peanuts, I bet that could be used like a Garrote...

You carried on that way for over a decade. Everywhere you went, everyday objects where seen as weapons. People where seen as targets because you let them convince you that you where born bad.

You plotted how to kill your family, you told them what order you'd do it in-- over diner. You where cruel and inconsiderate, you ignored your compassion for fear of it's pain. When you DID feel the emotional misery, you burned it out with a hot copper coil against the softside of your forearm, over twenty times in half as many years.

You put your cat down, your beloved Monkey who gave you unconditional love for sixteen years, (regardless of what you tell others, it was) all because you didn't think you had any love left to give her...

You where wrong.

You may have given into the darkness.. but you where never evil. Just like the world was never actually flat, it was always round, despite the perception of the world once.

Never forget that.

|| another_proser ||

{AUTHORS NOTE: I share this bit of personal darkness both as a reminder to myself and a shared experience for those who might need it themselves.}