We Lost Her In June

In the middle of summer, an email was sent out to the entire school.

It was short, a single paragraph of news, but after it was read, it hurt.

She sat across from me- bright smiles, strong opinions, stubborn and terribly outgoing.

The first friend that I had ever lost.

She would always be more adventerous than me, had a small tattoo on her stomach with plans on getting another, spent a weekend drinking vodka just to see how drunk she could get.

And she was kind.

We would talk sometimes, about relationships and family, dreams to go to college soon, how she wanted to go but didn't feel comfortable leaving her younger sister with their abusive father.

How she felt selfish.

And once, she told me she left her house through the window when she couldn't take it anymore, said it felt free.

Sometimes I will think

About the email that was sent out.

It said that she had died.

And to this day, I'm too scared to ask how.