Crunchy Guy

Mommy always tells me there aren’t monsters under my bed. She’s wrong cuz I heard a crunching under my bed like the sound my teeth make when I ate one of mommy’s cookies because she can’t make soft ones like grandma.

I popped my head over the side of the bed to see if someone was eating cookies. There was a man under there, or a something. I don’t know if it was a man because it looked kinda like a lizard too, but he wasn’t eating cookies. Cookies aren’t big, red, and juicy. I think he was eating Fluffy, my cat, but I wasn’t sure, so I asked him.

“Scuze me mister, are you eating my cat?” He didn’t answer me though. He just looked up at me with a very very big smile with red all around it. Mommy says I have a big smile, but he’s got a bigger smile. I figured the cat must’ve been really tasty, so I got under the bed to taste it cus mommy’s never cooked kitty for dinner. I remembered my manners real quick though and asked if he would share with me.

“Please can I have some too please?” Mommy calls that a ‘please-sandwich,’ but I just think it’s more nicer. He didn’t say I could, but didn’t tell me to go away when I started eating it too. I couldn’t eat the bones like he could, so I picked them out like I do with mushrooms.

The floor got really soggy with blood, and I remembered mommy just cleaned the floors with the big mop that I was not allowed to use as a pretend horsey. She would be very mad if I left the soggy on the floor, so I told the thing he had to go eat outside.

I told him where the door was, but he just slithered up the wall and slid out my window. If he ever comes back, I’m gonna ask him to teach me that trick.